Apparently It's Working

At work today two of my employees were teasing each other in a horseplay sort of way. The male of the pair frankly had it coming so I let it slide this once, given no one was around. He was being backed up by the female of the pair, towards me. In an effort to a) keep from being trampled, and b) to aid and abet the female of the pair somewhat, I reached out with my left hand and grabbed the tricept of the male of the pair so he could back up no futher.

I was just standing there. When I reached out I did not use force even, I realy just took his arm. (I didn't even feel the muscles in my arms flex.) I didn't squeeze his arm I just held him steady for a moment so I wasn't steped on. I had not noticed till after it was over and we were all talking that the male of the pair was not able to back up any further once I took his arm.

What started that discussion moments later was, "Man Fotonut, what do you have in that sleave of yours?" I didn't know what he meant. Furthermore, we aren't talking about a 90 lb weakling either. This guy is very well built, with lots of muscles. You could even call him "Cut." Then he says, "Man you really stopped me, when you grabbed me."

I am thinking no I didn't I just took your arm so you didn't step on my feet. Then he says, "Make a muscle." I normally have a Polo style shirt on, however, today I was wearing a long sleave RL Polo Button Down Dress shirt and slacks. I just made a muscle, and the female of the pair says, "Man Fotonut! Right through the shirt even!!"

I got a little red faced, but then realised it was a complement and that I have been working very hard on my "Guns." I guess I just don't know my own strenght anymore. I will need to make a note when it comes to dealing with my children. I need not to be hurting them.

Back In The Thick!

OK, I went to the gym this morning and it felt goooooood! It felt as good as, well you know what I mean. I am glad to finally be back.

Now off to work, for which I am greatful because I am board. However, it still is not something I would rather do.

Hope you all have a great week. If you haven't already. Watch the Your Tubes below. Maybe I am too geeked out about HP, but I think they are hilarious!

This Is A Scream!

The Party's Over!

I just got back from my Doctor's appointment. I have been given the all clear so it is back to work for me tomorrow, but not before I spend some time at the gym with my trainer. I just have to remember in both cases to take it easy, and listen to my body.

Coming Up For Air

I have finally finished! It was a wonderful read! I enjoyed every last page of all 7 books. My life, dare I say the world, is forever changed because of Harry Potter. The end also brings sadness. Part of the fun of Harry Potter was the inbetween times. From the time you finnished the latest book until the next one came out. It was fun to discuss with friends what you thing will happen in the next book, and how you think it will all end. The stark reality is that now we all do know how it ends.

Yes, we still have the movies. Yes, my son is now reading them so I get to relive the books with him, but it just won't be the same.

Shhhhhhhhhhhh!

I'M NOT DONE YET, DON'T SPOIL IT FOR ME!

I Freakin' Give Up!

I have not been able to sleep more than an hour at a time without waking up. The last time I woke up was 4:30 and I tried until 6:15 before I finally said, "Oh, just screw it!" and I got up. Today is trash day, so I lugged all of it to the curb. Not before, however, my most favorite job in the entire world, changing the cat litter!

When my kids were small I always said I would change shit pants all week long but you could chase me a mile with a pee diaper. Urine makes me gag, so you can imagine what stale urine in a litter box does for me. Today was especially lovely, I nearly choked.

Today is going to be a Grand Day, I can just feel it.

Flushing The Loathesome Elixir!

The Good Doctor says I am much improved and I need not take this aweful stuff any longer. Which means no more interal bleeding! YEAH!!!!!!



Where most medication belongs, in my opinion.


I am off for one more week but expect to return to work next Tuesday. If feel 50% better than I did this time last week, so hopefully I will be near 100% by Tuesday. I doubt I will ever fell like going back, but I am not going to ask her to keep me home a 4th week.

I'm One Step Closer!

This afternoon, I went out and finally got my copy. I had to go to my brothers after that and didn't get home till 6pm. Then I had to play photographer and post process the photo's I had taken for my brother's wife's family from out of town. They all turned out great, but I am pooped being in that heat.

I have now relaxed enough to be able to start reading, but I am also very sleepy. HMPH! I haven't been sleeping well (Another of the many lovely side effects from these freekin' pills.) So If I don't get to read too much now, I will no doubt be up in the night and can read some more. I jsut read the first Chapter Heading and I got all tingly, and goose skinned. (That's what Brits call goose pimples.) My Nephew is already half way through, and I am going to be really discusted if someone spoils it for me. I have waited nearly ten years for this book, and I will not have it ruined.

In health related news......

To be really honest, I don't think I am ready to go back to work yet. Furthermore, and even more frankly, I.don't.want.to.go.back.to.work.on.Tuesday! We are just going to have to see what the good doctor says tomorrow.

Ok, like it or not, I am going to have to lie down for a while. I had better set my alarm, as a just in case.

ILL FATED ELIXIR

You will thank me for sparing you the details of the side effects I am currently experienceing. If you think I am speaking simply normal side effects, you would be wrong. What I am experiencing is nothing close to what you are thinking it is.

I already had a doctor's appointment scheduled for Monday afternoon. While this is not good, and even boarders on being very bad, it can wait till then.

Grandma's New Ride

My Mom just traded in her not very old van just like this one, for this one. Because I am still trying to recouporate from my illness. My parents thought it best if they took my kids with them to MN this year. Mostly because they didn't want me to relaps, end up in the hospital and then they would have to come home early.

So for the next two weeks or so, I will be livin' foot loose and fancy free. Yeah right, I could barely get the new top carrier bolted down without passing out. Mom said it wasn't hot but, to me it felt like about 112°!

To update on the Bedroom Redo. I found a closet system at Lowes online. I forget the name but it is the cheaper wire version (Which is what I wanted.) Cpmpaired to the fancy dancy California Closets stuff. If I am up to it, I will head to Lowes tomorrow with my measurements to see if I can get a rough idea of what it might cost. From what I can tell it shouldn't be more than I am willing to pay. Plus, I will be able to install it myself, therefore it will make it cheaper.

My only concern is what they will be able to offer me in the way of DVD storage. If they don't have any exceptable options, I can take the shelf out of the little knoock next to the closet, and make a plywood built in that will handle my books, and my DVD collection. Would rather not do that but it would look good and do the job. I really want the DVDs to be hidden from view. We will just have to wait and see.

No Flashes For A While At Fotonut World Head Quarters

I have once again had to rethink things, so the New Flash is out for a while, but not forever. As most of you know my children and I live with my parents. Thankfully the house is HUGE, and everyone has their very own space. My bedroom is actually much larger than the Master but does not have it's own Onsuite. (I have no earthly idea how to spell that, or even if it is more than one word or not.)

Anyway, since I actually live in my bedroom, the room serves as my Master Suite with a King Size Bed (Hey, I'm a big boy.), my Office, my Home Theater complete with a large DVD Collection, my Library - Reading Room, and Hobby Storage (aka a place for all my photography gear.) AND as if that weren't enough, it is also an Art Gallery wich consists of my Sketches, my Photography, my Momentos and Knick Knacks, and my extra large Model Car Collection.

My current problem is I have two large pieces of furniture in here that are just taking up space and not meeting my storage needs. Not to mention I have a very crammed under utilized closet with two sliding doors which make it next to impossible to get anything in or out of it.

I have come up with a plan that I think should solve many of my storage problems. As is plain to see, those plans involve money. If you will remember this is the Bed I got late last year.



I believe the JC Penny's is planning to discontinue this line because all of the pieces are still on sale. (still expensive, but lets say they are discounted enough that I can afford them now.) Phase one is to take out my huge Armoire / Dresser, and replace it with the dresser that comes with the set that matches my bed.



Then I will also remove the entertainment center that is too small to hold my TV anyway, and aside from housing my stereo equipment it is just storing a bunch of stuff that has no business being in this room in the first place and half of it is trash anyway.

This phase will also be to get glass shelving purchased for the full length lighted and mirrored Curio I bought from my Brother's Mother-In-Law for $50! Have you priced these things lately? When the shelves are in place I will be able to propperly display my car collection (all 30 of them) and greatly declutter my room.

Then once I have been able to replentish the kingdom's treasury phase two (Which just came to me as I was typing this, and is Brilliant! I might add.) is to remove the closet doors and replace them with draping. Then go to Containers and more, or Lowes or someplace that will be able to design one of those closet organizing systems for me that will allow me to efficiantly store my clothing, in addition to providing DVD storage for my huge collection (with a little room to grow), an office filing system, and photography gear and art supply storage above.

Moving out my old entertainment center, will alow me to move my Curio across the room to the same wall as the new dresser (Which by the way, will hold my TV and Stereo equpiment on top of it. I even have a way to disquise the stereo equipment so you won't be able to see it, and and I won't loose the space for displaying knick knacky dust collecting shit.) Then I will get my reading room back.

More Old Skool Fotonut Pictures

All right, there are certian photos in here that will cause uncontrolable choking laughter. WARNING DO NOT EAT OR DRINK WHILE YOU VIEW THESE PICTURES.



Furthermore, I have posted exstensive captions to these photos on my flickr site. It is imparative you read these captions to get the full effect of each shot.

Old Skool Fotonut

Ok, some of you asked for some old skool fotos of the Fotonut. I am still looking for the "Don Johnson" ones. There is one Easter photo in particular that once you see I will have to kill you all, but I my Fotonut Mom has it, so you will have to wait for that one.

I have already uploaded these to Flickr, so just click on the picture, and ride the wave over to Flickr to read the captioned information. Trust me as I get older the captions get better, its worth the trip.

And the Survey Says......

The Peanut Queen (I'm too damned lazy to link her, she is on my side bar.) emailed me a survey. I am want to believe I am to now post said survey and its results on this blog. Far be it from me to ever piss off a Queen so here we go.

1. Were you named after anyone? Kind of my Fotonut Mom got my name from the Bible

2. When was the last time you cried? Last night.

3. Do you like your handwriting? Yes, I have been told that I "write like a girl by more than one person.

4. What is your favorite lunch meat? Genoa Salami

5. Do you have kids? 2.

6. If you were another person would you be friends with you? Yes, no body else will. (wink) Actually, I would probably think I was an asshole or something, I don't really know.

7. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Is a frog's ass water tight?

8. Do you still have your tonsils? Yep.

9. Would you bungee jump? What and shit down my back because I was hanging upside down HELL NO.

10. What is your favorite cereal? Graham Crackers in milk, yummy.

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nope, I untie them before I put them back on.

12. Do you think you are strong? Smelling? Sometimes. Do I have big guns? HELL YEAH

13. What is your favorite ice cream? Mint chocolate chip (I have to agree with the Queen on this one, although I also like Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough from Ben and Gerry's.

14. What is the first thing you notice about people? On women? Their Brains, or lack there of. On men? Sence of Humor or lack there of.

15. Pink or red? Purple or Grey sorry those colors don't do it for me. Although I owned many pink shirts in the 80s.

16. What is the least favorite thing about yourself? My powerless ness over my current situation.

17. Who do you miss the most? Steve a very good friend and mentor who moved to Chicago. While I still email and talk to him on the phone, I don't get to see him nearly enough.

18. Do you want everyone to send this back to you? NO, and I am not trashing up the sholders of the information super highway with this stuff either. If you want to answer these questions then put them on your blog.

19. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? Dark Grey shorts, and the ten toes God gave me. ( I am off from work right now.)

20. What was the last thing you ate? Bagle and Ham sandwich

21. What are you listening to right now? Silents and it is truly golden.

22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Dark grey.

23. Favorite smells? Farts, plus they make cool noises too.

24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My Mother yesterday.

25. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes Indeed I do.

26. Favorite sports to watch? Don't watch many, I would rather read.

27. Eye Color Dark Blue

28. Do you wear contacts? Glasses.

29. Favorite food? Chocolate, Pasta, and Diet Coke (Can you all believe I said, DIET coke?)

30. Scary movies or happing endings? I don't do either, unless Harry Potter counts as scary, which I don't think it should. I love Suspence.

31. Last movie you watched? Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix!

32. What color shirt are you wearing? Purple tank top over a white Tank-T-Shirt.

33. Summer or winter? Winter I love Snow!

34. Hugs or kisses? Yes Please!

35. Favorite dessert? When In doubt Chocolate!

36. Most likely to respond? Yes, I have ADD so if it is a thought it is a word. If there is one thing in this world you can count on its for the Fotonut to be flappin him yap.

37. Least likely to respond? Wash Rinse Repeat on Number 36

38. What book are you reading now? Book One of the Wheel of Time Series, and very soon the Final Harry Potter :o(

39. What is on your mouse pad? DELL

40. What did you watch on TV last night? MI-5 on BBC America

41. Favorite sound? Farts!

42. Rolling stones or Beatles? The Beatles, was there ever a question?

43. What is the furthest you have been from home? From my current home, Canada, but I lived in MI at the time.

44. Do you have a special talent? I sing, draw, half ass paint and I have been told I am pretty good with a camera.

45. Where were you born? Hackly Hospital Muskegon MI ( The same place as Harry Morgan. "Col. Potter from MASH."

46. Whose answers are you looking forward to getting back? I will paraphrase one of my Favorite quotes from Tom Clancy's "Hunt for Red October" the original quote from Jack Ryan is, "Next time, put it in a God Damned Memo!" My paraphrase, "Put it on your God damned Blog!"

Free At Last, Free At Last, Great God Almighty Free At Last!

I broke free of my domestic prison today, if only for about 15 minutes. I damn near killed myself but it was worth it.

Did I ever tell you all how much I LOVE my new lens I got myself as a Christmas present last year?

Somebody Flash Me Quick - Please

But before you do get your mind out of the gutter! I want a Canon 580EX Speedlite E-TTL Shoe Mount Flash for my gear bag. Problem is they are very spendy. (They are $400.00.) Right now, about the only way I could get one is if I sold my 200-500mm lens which I don't used very often, and know as soon as I sold it I would have wished I hadn't. I love that lens, and if I had been able to go to the zoo this summer I would have been able to put it through the paces.

On the other hand, I really Really REALLY want an off camera flash. What really sux is that buying a Big Old Pro Grade Canon 20D is that once you have it all of the attachments are just as spendy, and some are even more than the camera itself.

Wait.... Did you hear that? No, shhhh, did you hear that? I think that is the noise of my brain calculating, scheaming, rebudgeting, robbing peter to pay paul, all in an effort to figure me a way to get that Flash. ding Did you hear that? I think I just figured out a way.

Good News All 'Round!

(picture from last summer's family reunion)

Just got back from the Doctor's office. My Pneumonia is gone! Yeah, we also discovered the cause. I have Asthma. I was actually diagnosed with it when I had Pneumonia last time but the specialist failed to tell me or my doctor so I haven't been using inhalers all this time. My Dr. only discovered it when rereading my charts from last time. She was not happy with the other Dr., nor am I. Well, its all figured out now anyhow.

I was given another week of House Arrest, I mean time off from work. I am still very fatiged, and the Dr says that is how it works with Pneumonia. Maybe I can get caught up on some DVDs this week? I watched Prairie Home Companion yesterday, What A Hoot! Of course I grew up listening to that radio program, and I have lived in MN so I think that kind of thing is a scream. Not to mention the fact that I have always been a little weird, so I am not sure if the rest of you would enjoy it or not.

An Artist's Pain, Is The World's Delight

Lace or Barbed Wire?



Home or a Cell with Bars?




As you all know I have been ill for some time now. As each day goes by, my silent screams grow louder and louder. Today as I walked through my house my photographic eye (which never gives me any peace what so ever) saw these images begging to be made. Since it brings to bear my feelings as of late, I find it very appropriate, and worthy of sharing with you.

Harry Potter & The Order Of The Pheonix

Like I said in an earlier post, it has been such a long time since I have read the book, it might be hard for me to tell what has been "changed," as some have said. Evidently, I am not as old as I thought. I did see where things had been changed, and again many things were just completely left out. However, if you have read the books, as I have, you will know that each book has several stories within the story, and most of the books are well beyond the 500-600 page limit of most novels. Therefore it would be a mini-series if everthing was left in. All in all, I think the director, David Yates, has once again done a smashingly brilliant job of things. He has kept the flavor and spirit of the story together, omitting only those things that aren't relevent to the main story. I am always impressed with the technical level of these movies, because they have never been anything but completely believable.

Casting, has always been top drawer. Although, I dearly miss Richard Harris's portrail of Albus Dumbledore, (A better person there will never be for that part.) people die and that can not be helped. Although I had originally hoped they would move John Hurt from the role of Mr. Olivander, owner of Olivander's Wands, to play Dumbledore, Micheal Gambon is doing a fine fine job. I now realize I wanted the Dumbledore, I loved back on the sreen. While John Hurt would have done a wonderful job he never would have been exactly the same. It was far wiser to pick someone that could become his very own version of Dumbledore, and do it well, that Micheal Gambin has done smashingly. My only hope now is that we can hang onto Dame Maggie Smith, aka Professor Minerva McGonagall, tell the end. She too would be a great loss to the cast.

For me, what makes a book or a movie really good, is to have great actors play the good guys, but even better ones play the bad guys. Ralph Fiennes as Lord Voldemort, Jason Issacs as Lucius Malfoy, and Alan Rickman as Severus Snape who no one knows for certain if he is bad or good, are all deliciously evil.

It appears I could go on forever so I will finish up with this. Was it the best Harry Potter movie? No. Was it the worst? No, but even the worst Harry Potter is still a great movie. Did I enjoy myself? Yes. Was I disappointed? Certianly not. Would I pay to see it again? In a second! Will I own it on DVD? Do you really need to ask?

The one complaint I have, had nothing at all to do with the movie, and I have expressed my displeasure regarding this issue before. Those people with children under the age of 5, who are prone to be scared by a movie like this and cry, spoiling it for others, please get a baby sitter, or wait till the bloody thing comes out on DVD! If you must bring them, then scoop your crying snot nosed child up and get them out of there the moment they make a peep, covering theor mouth with your hand to muffle their cries.

I have a home theatre complete with Dolby Surround Sound in my bedroom, and a huge DVD collection. So, when I actually pay $8 to see a first run movie on the HUGE screen at the theatre, I would like to not have to put up with talking children, crying babies, and parents scooting past with their children for trips to the damn potty throughout the entire movie. In my opinion if the MPAA rating is as such:

Rated PG-13 for sequences of fantasy violence and frightening images.

Children under the age of 10 should not be allowed by the theatre PERIOD! (The theatre says no one under 13 but they evidently don't really care.) Some people will say, you can't tell me what or what not I can allow my children to watch. Well you know what? Maybe it should be a sign to you that you are screwing up your kids little brains bringing them to movies that they are not old enough to comprehend as "Not Real," thus making them that much more scary. Maybe, it is more simple than all that. Maybe you need to be told it is just plain selfish and rude to bring small children a movie like this because they are going to spoil it for the rest of us. If you are as selfish as all of that, just think how you would feel if you sat in front of me and I kicked the back of your seat throughout the movie. Bet me you would turn around and I would hear about it.

My brother and his wife used to split their kids up. One parent and the older child went to one movie, and the other parent, and the younger child would go to a more age appropriate movie. I see movies first before I take my kids, so I can tell if it is appropriate or not. So sue my brother an I for actually following the rules! I guess it is stupid for me to expect everyone else to, or for the theatres to actually enforce the rules they have.

I need to get off my soap box or I will be hear all night.

Field Trips, It's The Journey That Kills Yeah!

My Fotonut parents took my Fotonut kids to their Mother's Family Reunion for the weekend, then they will be with one of her friends, who will be their protector while they are at the farm with her parents until I pick them up on Thursday. So right at this very moment, I am all alone for the next day and 3/4ths, till my Fotonut parents return. (Those of you who have read me long enough, or who are close enough to me will understand the need for a protector. If you don't, it is something I am not inclined to explain here, sorry.)

Today marks the sixith consecutive day I have yet to leave the house. I know I have not been able to, but I was about to SCREAM! I made up my mind that I am going to see Harry Potter late afternoon or evening today. I just can't stand not having seen it yet. I needed to do some things first, however, to make it possible. I knew that if I waited till shortly before show time I would never make it.

So I took the plung and gave myself the King's Treatment in the Personal Grooming Dept. Only because I haven't seen a beard trimmer, razor, bar soap, shampoo, or toothbrush (Yuck, I just hate crusty teeth!) in so long I couldn't even remember what they looked like anymore. Not to mention my fragrent air was becoming noxious at best.

I must say, I feel much better now that I am cleaner, and I am sure that it is partly emotional. You know how you feel and act better when you are dressed up, as apposed to being in jeans and a wife beater. (I wish no one would ever have clued me in on that term. I always called them tanks, and some times quoted my fotonut Mom and called them He Man T-shirts. It is funny in a way, cause every time you watch cops {which I do not do with any regularity} every drunk wife beater is out in the street with one of those on. However, it is inappropriate. I just can't seem to stop using the term. Ok, now that I am sufficiantly off topic......)

Now that I was all scrubbed up I took myself to someplace I haven't darkened the doorway of in months, McDonalds. I don't want to hear it. I don't feel well, and I haven't felt like eating much of anything for weeks. (Not that I feel any different now. I just needed to get out of the house, and eat something.)

By the time I got myself there, and ordered my brown cardboard on a bun, and sat to eat, I was so weak I could hardly get the food to my mouth. Now that I am home typing this I can hardly keep my eyes open, and I am winded beyond anything.

Soooooooo, That was phase one. Now I will rest my Fat Fotonut Ass up for several hours so I will have enough energy to hawl it the block from my house to the movie screan. (I love living close to a mall!)

I will have to let you know what I thought of the movie, but it may have to wait till tomorrow. The actual act of getting myself there, watching it, and then draging myself home may be all I will be able to handle for the rest of the day.

Nap Time!

Progress Report

I promised a progress report some time ago and never gave one. I have a long, long, LONG, way to go yet. However, I have never EVER had any sort of muscle mass before so to have as much as I have now, although not earth shattering, is a HUGE deal for me. BTW, I have not taken photos of an ape. It is I Fotonut, just so you all know I HATE BEING HAIRY! It is dirty and stinky, and well I just don't like it. I don't have money for Lazer treatments, and the other options are not long lasting enough to make it worth my time or money. Just so you know I have my back to education once and had it waxed for free in order to train those learning the art of hair yanking. As far as pain goes, not that big of a deal. It only hurts for a second, but what I hated was after 3 days I was all itchy cause it was all coming back in. YUCK. After all that and to have it last less than two weeks. No thank you.

The Guns

It's In The Bag, & That Sux Too!

Another bad thing about having been under the weather of late, what will all the med issues ect, I haven't felt like, or been able to, take any pictures! So my camera, she's in the bag.

I felt much better by end of day yesterday, and will have to get in the shower today cause I can't even stand my crusty self anymore. I hate being so sick I don't feel like bathing. YUCK

Maybe, just maybe.... I can see Harry Potter this weekend.

To Quote Ron....

Bloody Hell! Still too sick for the movie! I can't even make it from the bedroom to the kitchen without being done for..... This really sux!

Other fitting qoutes of note:

Hagrid, "Cogswallup!"

Harry, "I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me."

I Realy Need More To Do aka The Name Game

Several months ago, I found myself with loads of extra time, and not much to occupy it. It was at that point I took pen to paper to see just exactly how many "Other" names there were for a guy's "Junk," rather than the girly name the scientists gave it. It is my opinion that men have come up with some many names for their "Little Guy," because we all just hate having to call it a penis. Here are all 127 of the names I could think of. If you are wondering, it never occured to me to make a list for "The Girls" or the "Girlie Bits" down below. Besides, after 127 it kind of stops being fun, you know.

Anaconda
Bat and Balls, The
Battering Ram
Beast, The
Big Jim and the Twins
Bologna Pony
Bone
Boner
Bratwurst
Chicken, Choke your
Chubby
Club
Cock
Crotch
Crotch Rocket
Cum Gun
Cum Stick
Dick
Dingy
Dink
Dog
Dong
Donger
Dork
Drill
Drive Shaft
Eel
Fuck Stick
Fuck Wand
Groin
Hard One
Hardon
Heat Seeking Moisture Missile
Hose
Hot Beef Injector
Hot Dog
Hot Rod
Iguana, Draining the
Jake, Jake the Trouser Snake
Jock
Johnson
Joint
Junk
Knob, Polish your
Little Guy
Log
Loin
Lord Hard Wick
Love Muscle
Love Rocket
Love Shaft
Love Wand
Lumber
Machete
Meat
Meat Candle
Meat Cycle
Member
Monkey, Spank your
Monster Member
Morning Wood
Mr. Chubby
Mr. Happy
Mr. Meat
Mr. Slinky
Mr. Stiffy
Mr. Weasel
Mr. Winky
Nut (It is a British thing because the head looks like a nut.)
One Eyed Boa
One Eyed Sailor
Package
Pants Pig
Pecker
Pee Pee
Peter
Phallus
Piener
Pimmel (German Slang)
Pipe
Plumbing
Poker
Pole
Prong
Pussy Pleaser
Pussy Plug
Pussy Pounder
Putter
Putz
Red Eye Moon
Rod
Roll
Salami
Sausage
Sex Stick
Shaft
Shit Packer
Shlong
Skin Flute
Skin Whistle
Slinky
Snake With A Sweater
Spear
Stem
Stiffy
Swanzt
Sword
Tally Wacker
Thang
Tool
Tool Chest
Trouser Trout
Tube Steak
Wand
Wee Wee
Wick
Wiener
Wienie
Willy
Wonder Wand
Woodrow
Woody
Worm
Worm with a Turtle Neck
Wrench
Zipper Elephant
Zipper Snake

BOLLOX & RUIN!

Wednesday the 11th, marks the opening of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix" movie, and I am too damn sick to attend! My only hope would be for Maddam Pomfrey to show up with some magical elixer, but I fear she is far too busy at Hogwarts to attend my lone illness. I certainly hope this all gets sorted by the time Book 7 arrives, in two weeks! At this point it would take a hoard of 40 dragons (Norwegian Ridgebacks, the nastiest sort) to keep me from reading that book! Even at that, I would feel sorry for those poor dragons if I were you. If I have to pay a nurse to sit bedside and read it to me I'll do it.

Tuesday

Throat is still sore (BAD). Getting ready to take the kids to the sitter. I feel so crappy, I don't even want to read, or watch a movie. In my book that is pretty.damn.bad!

Sickmeister Update

Yup, I got it again....Pneumonia! I have had it so many times now, even I have lost count.

At least I won't have to go to the hospital, but she did give me the rest of the week off. Those of you who just thought me a lucky duck. Back it on up here, I'll trade yeah for certain. If feeling like this is the only way to get a week off, then I would rather be at work!

NEWS FLASH!

I was at work for all of 28 miunutes this morning. Today was the day I was to call my doctor to schedule a follow up from the pneumonia from two Wednesdays ago. I was done with my meds last Friday. I felt a little sluggish on Saturday, but to be expected. Sunday, I was really having issues. Now this morning, I am sicker, in a different way, than I was when I went to the ER. This time I actually feel like I have pneumonia.

What does all of this mean? I don't know. I have an appointment with the doctor at 1:15 today. I am certain I won't be going back to work any time soon, but don't know if she will send me to the hospital. The reason I am writing all of this is so that if I do have to go to the hospital, I won't have to come home, pack and then sit down to let you all know what's up.

I am still in the stone ages and don't have a laptop. (Because one that is big enough to fit my needs costs twice what my ultra cool desktop does. I just can't see spending almost 3k, just so that I can have a laptop.) That also means, if I am in the hospital I won't be able to blog.

I will do this much, if things turn for the worse, I will have my Fotonut Mom come and dash something off to keep you all in the know. The likelyhood of that is slim. The ER Doctor said we caught it very early. So early, in fact, he wasn't even sure it was pneumonia in the first place. All that to say, I would be really shocked, even if I am admitted, that things will get to the levels there were last time, (near death and that is not an overstatement!) The Dr. told me had I waited much longer they wouldn't have been able to help me. Great cause I didn't even know I had it in the first place.

...And Don't Call Me Shirley

Slowly but surely, I am becoming a member of the living again. I went to the gym this morning for the first time since the ER. We Wratchted it way back and it still damn near killed me. You've got to start some where though.

On another note, I am becoming very discusted with dating, online or otherwise. It is my considered opinion, after 648 matches with eHarmony that it's just likely not going to happen for me. I have eDated about 150 of the above 648, of which I got to phone conversations with about 10, but have actually met only 2 women! TWO out of 648! Come on folks.

Actually, that isn't really a fair number, it should be 4 years, and met 2 out of 150. Still, at this rate I won't have any of my own teeth left when I finally meet someone, and we will just be together for the social security bennies.

Most of you have been reading me long enough to know that I have done far more than normal amounts of self reflection, and have gone through the pain of changing myself for the better over the course of a 6 year period of time. While I don't expect everyone to have gone through the same level of self improvement as I have, NONE is not exceptable either.

Let's get a few things straight first.

1. BOTH relationship partners in a divorce are at fault! My favorite qoute is, "There are always 3 sides to any divorce story, his side, her side, and what really happened." In my case, there were differing degrees of "at faultness," but I was not fault free by any means. I don't know about anyone else, but after what I went through, there is no way in hell I am ever going to go through it again.

2. Exceptance of fault, is the first step to healing from divorce.

3. Willingness to change goes hand in hand with number 2.

4. Finally, saying things like, "I know I am not perfect, but I don't need to do anything differently to prevent a repeat of a bad relationship is just, plain and simple, BULL SHIT!

The only thing I know for certain is that I will never have another bad marriage. If that means I am never married again, then so be it. Nor will I sit in a bad dating relationship either. Life it just too damn short.

Some of you here, may think I am far too picky. I was picky the first time and look what it got me. Now I am being knowledgably selective, and there is a big difference. Furthermore, I have consulted with several people with whose opinions I greatly respect in this matter. Phd.s, Sponsors from my program, etc., and all of them say I am on the right path, and not being overly picky. It is just damn frustrating to realize that it is more likely I will never be married again, than that I will.

All That & Talent Too!

This morning I head to the kitchen to make myself a bowl of cerial. As on most mornings, with me at least, there is usually some amount of gas waiting to expell itself. This morning that ammount was of epic proportion. I am one not that feels holding back nature is not a good thing. In some cases, as today, nature even gets a little help, resulting in a very twangie WAAAAAAAAHump! Releived are refreshed I go on about the business of making breakfast. As I reach into the fridge for the milk I hear my Fotonut Mom say to my Fotonut Dad (at the other end of the house.), "What?" As I pick up my milk filled bowl and spoon, my Fotonut Mom appears in the kitchen towel around her head, tightly wrapped in a big purple robe, and she says, "What...you called me?"

Uh...no, I farted! With a very hurried, "oh" she was off again. I called down the hall, "Not too many people can talk with their ass, it's a talent you know."

Too Sick To Snap On The 4th

Unfortunately, I am far too sick to go to the fireworks tonight. At least it stopped raining so my Fotonut Parents, can take my Fotonut kids, aka Big Sister and Little Man, to the show. That means I won't be getting any fireworks photos. At least I got some AWESOME Memorial Day Fireworks shots this year, so it is not like I didn't get any.

There might be a possability, all be it slim, that I could get some shots at Royals Stadium, after a game. Thing is it is so expensive to park, gain entry, and feed yourself once you are there that it is hardly worth it. Especially, when you hate baseball as much as I do! We have a minor leauge team, the T-Bones, (get it Kansas City is a Cattle Town) and they have fireworks too. It is lots cheaper and it might work. Plus I intend to take myself down to the Plaza Lighting festivities, on Thanksgiving this year to get those Fireworks shots also.

The coolest thing is that I have been welcomely hounded about How did you get those shots? from Bloggers and Flickrites alike. It made me feel really good to be able to help each person, just as I was helped a year ago by someone else. I will be anxious to see the shots they get. It really is extreamly easy with the correct gear, and you don't have to have a big spendy camera like mine either. I have seen shots as good as mine, come out of teeny tiny point and shoots, and crap come out of expensive gear. It is more about technic than anything.

I guess all of this typing is my way to relive the experience I know I am missing this year. Fireworks have been a part of my family's fun ever sense I was a small child. We all tease my Fotonut Mom by telling her that every time someone was out in the middle of the street shooting off firecrackers she drug us out there to smell up the smoke. Thank you Fotonut Mom, you have created many years of memories, and a deep appreciation for fireworks in my heart of hearts. One now that you and I can pass on to my Fotonut kids. Even at nearly 13, and nearly 10, we have already reprogrammed their DNA for two summer staples at Fotonut World Head Quarters, Ice Cream and Fireworks. I can't think of two better family traditions to pass along to my kids. Even though my tummy didn't want ice cream today. :(

Happy 4th of July Everyone!

On The Mend & 9 Days And Counting

Well folks, here it is Monday evening and I have managed to make it through the day. There are two health issues in question at the momemnt. Health Issue #1 MEDS: In this respect I think I feel good. I certainly feel one bazzilion times better than I did while testing for a replacement, and I think I even feel better now that I am back with my good old friend. However, I wont know for sure until I have health issue #2 taken care of. Health Issue #2 Pnuemonia: I am taking some heavy hitter drugs, (Upset stomach, but what's new?)and have 3 days left till I am done. I am still sweaty durring the day, (Not Good) and I have yet to hear the results of my ER blood tests. There is still a question of weather I have an infection in my blood. (REALLY NOT GOOD) I had hoped I would have known something by today. sigh



On to far more important things!



There are only 9 days, actually 8 if you don't count the actual day until Harry Potter & The Order Of The Pheonix !!!!! (Click to veiw a multitude of trailers.) The the final book Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows just ten days later on the 21st. I am so excited I just may piss myself. However, along with the excitement comes great sarrow. This is the "Last" Harry Potter Book! JKR, has said so from the very begining. Who could blame her if she never wrote another word? Who can you follow up a series like Harry Potter? You can't!

I have already prepaired myself, by finding another series to replace it. I am currently reading book 1 of the series, which now totals 13 and the author is still writing. But even that won't last forever, he has a terminal illness. It is a small consolation, but I will be able to relive Harry Potter now that my son is reading them. (He is on book 2.)