...And Don't Call Me Shirley
Slowly but surely, I am becoming a member of the living again. I went to the gym this morning for the first time since the ER. We Wratchted it way back and it still damn near killed me. You've got to start some where though.
On another note, I am becoming very discusted with dating, online or otherwise. It is my considered opinion, after 648 matches with eHarmony that it's just likely not going to happen for me. I have eDated about 150 of the above 648, of which I got to phone conversations with about 10, but have actually met only 2 women! TWO out of 648! Come on folks.
Actually, that isn't really a fair number, it should be 4 years, and met 2 out of 150. Still, at this rate I won't have any of my own teeth left when I finally meet someone, and we will just be together for the social security bennies.
Most of you have been reading me long enough to know that I have done far more than normal amounts of self reflection, and have gone through the pain of changing myself for the better over the course of a 6 year period of time. While I don't expect everyone to have gone through the same level of self improvement as I have, NONE is not exceptable either.
Let's get a few things straight first.
1. BOTH relationship partners in a divorce are at fault! My favorite qoute is, "There are always 3 sides to any divorce story, his side, her side, and what really happened." In my case, there were differing degrees of "at faultness," but I was not fault free by any means. I don't know about anyone else, but after what I went through, there is no way in hell I am ever going to go through it again.
2. Exceptance of fault, is the first step to healing from divorce.
3. Willingness to change goes hand in hand with number 2.
4. Finally, saying things like, "I know I am not perfect, but I don't need to do anything differently to prevent a repeat of a bad relationship is just, plain and simple, BULL SHIT!
The only thing I know for certain is that I will never have another bad marriage. If that means I am never married again, then so be it. Nor will I sit in a bad dating relationship either. Life it just too damn short.
Some of you here, may think I am far too picky. I was picky the first time and look what it got me. Now I am being knowledgably selective, and there is a big difference. Furthermore, I have consulted with several people with whose opinions I greatly respect in this matter. Phd.s, Sponsors from my program, etc., and all of them say I am on the right path, and not being overly picky. It is just damn frustrating to realize that it is more likely I will never be married again, than that I will.
On another note, I am becoming very discusted with dating, online or otherwise. It is my considered opinion, after 648 matches with eHarmony that it's just likely not going to happen for me. I have eDated about 150 of the above 648, of which I got to phone conversations with about 10, but have actually met only 2 women! TWO out of 648! Come on folks.
Actually, that isn't really a fair number, it should be 4 years, and met 2 out of 150. Still, at this rate I won't have any of my own teeth left when I finally meet someone, and we will just be together for the social security bennies.
Most of you have been reading me long enough to know that I have done far more than normal amounts of self reflection, and have gone through the pain of changing myself for the better over the course of a 6 year period of time. While I don't expect everyone to have gone through the same level of self improvement as I have, NONE is not exceptable either.
Let's get a few things straight first.
1. BOTH relationship partners in a divorce are at fault! My favorite qoute is, "There are always 3 sides to any divorce story, his side, her side, and what really happened." In my case, there were differing degrees of "at faultness," but I was not fault free by any means. I don't know about anyone else, but after what I went through, there is no way in hell I am ever going to go through it again.
2. Exceptance of fault, is the first step to healing from divorce.
3. Willingness to change goes hand in hand with number 2.
4. Finally, saying things like, "I know I am not perfect, but I don't need to do anything differently to prevent a repeat of a bad relationship is just, plain and simple, BULL SHIT!
The only thing I know for certain is that I will never have another bad marriage. If that means I am never married again, then so be it. Nor will I sit in a bad dating relationship either. Life it just too damn short.
Some of you here, may think I am far too picky. I was picky the first time and look what it got me. Now I am being knowledgably selective, and there is a big difference. Furthermore, I have consulted with several people with whose opinions I greatly respect in this matter. Phd.s, Sponsors from my program, etc., and all of them say I am on the right path, and not being overly picky. It is just damn frustrating to realize that it is more likely I will never be married again, than that I will.
Written by Im A Foto Nut at 7/09/2007 04:01:00 am
2 Comments:
My niece and I often talk about if anything were to happen to our spouses, would we marry again. Honestly, we both say "No FRIGGIN' WAY!!!"
Of course, we say that now...but who knows what we'd do should the situation arise?
Anyway, you're right in saying what you said....and life is DEFINITELY too short to be in a bad relationship!
Never settle. She's out there somewhere, and when you least expect it, she'll hit you over the head with her club!
You are so right, life IS too short, and people who can't ever admit fault drive me flipping insane!
Stacie
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