For The First Time In My Life...

I WANT TO BE A LOOSER!

I have already signed up at 24HOURFITNESS earlier this month. However, I had to wait until I had the large "Chunk 'o Cash" for the personal trainer, and my Dr.'s approval. I got the Dr approval on Tuesday, and waited till this morning so I could get extra sessions for free. (wooo hooo, we like free!)

I just spent the better part of an hour filling out all the paper work, with regards to my eating habits, what foods I like, ect. I was given, ( yeah right...it was $50 and they hid it in there somewhere.) a Nutri Pak. Basically, it is a sampler of all of (Their) shakes, meal replacement bars (the chocolate peanutbutter one is like eating candy. I think my eyes rolled back in my head. Sheeshe if I can still it chocolate on a regular basis.....), cookies, mutlivitamins, et. al.

I am very hopeful this time. I have never had a personal trainer before, and Alan seems to really know his shit, so to speak. I have always tried to do it either at home, or at a gym by myself, and never with the full picture. ie, trainer, healthy eating habits, cardio, resistance training (I wana be cut, baby!), hat burners, and mutlivitamins. Truth be told, I have never liked being fat. I have a laundry list of reasons why, and all of them should be a big motivator. More to the point, I want to be lean, healthy, and cut so bad I could just cry, really. I will also be spending time praying about it. I really need to get to the point were it will be more painful to stop the new behaviors, than to keep them up. For instance, it has been 13 years since I quit my 2.5 pack of Marlbouro a day habit. After just six months, I couldn't even remember what it was like to smoke. Going back to my old ways, at that point was no longer an option. I know it will likely take longer than 6 months with this, but I really don't care anymore. I think I may actually have reached breakpoint on this one, or at least I hope.

The plan is to start this next Monday morning and I will be rolling out of bed at O' darkthirty, 4:30 am to be exact. I can be home by 6, since it is only two blocks from my house, just before my Mom leaves for work, and it time to start getting Big Sister, and Little Man ready, make lunches, and the all important 3 S's. (You know, the Shit, Shower and Shave deal.) Actually, I am lucky enough to have a beard and I squeeze by a week at a time without shaving, and I don't always have a morning download, so it will actually be more like the S.

If I Can't Have Harry Potter....

Eragon is the next best thing to it. Finally, the trailer for Eragon the movie has arrived!!!!!! Eragon, in case you live under a rock liturarily speaking, is book 1 of the Inheritance Trilogy, by Christopher Paolini. (Get this, he was 15 years old when he wrote it.)

In an effort to find something else to fill my bookshelf with, once Harry Potter's last words have been written, I opted for the Inheritance Trilogy. So far, I have read book one "Eragon", and book two "Eldest." I now wait with baited breath for "Empire."

Just in case any of you are wondering, "Harry Potter, and the Order of the Pheonix" will open July 13th 2007. (In theatres everywhere, as they say.) The world is not yet lucky enough to be able to view any HPOP trailers, but they will be arriving soon, me thinks. I would not be suprised to see HPOP trailers at Eragon.

Anyway, Eragon is just another silly boys book about a dragon and his rider, elves, and dwarves, complete with an anchent language and magic to boot. You may have noticed there is only one book left in the Inheritance Trilogy, but fear not, for today I started reading the first book in the Wheel of Time series, by Robert Jordan. This time I got smart, there are already 13 books in this series, and no indecation it will end anytime soon.

I related book news.....

I just finished Ashes to Ashes, by Tami Hoag. Man, what a great read. Tami grabs you by your Adam's Apple on page 3, and doesn't let go until the very last page, whew. I may have started reading lots of Fantasy, but I will always love a good mystery or spy novel. What would I do without my Tom Clancy, or John Grisham?

Since I will likely type about books for another two hours, lest I stop here, I will say goodnight for now. 

That's My Boy!

Check THIS out, then go take all of your stored passwords out of your computer.

Booger Hygentists, And AA For Cats

Well folks, I have just gotten home from a teeth cleaning. The powder on the hygentist's gloves makes my nose itch. Several times durring the cleaning I must rub my nose to stop it from itching. When I got into the car, and checked the rear view mirror before backing up, I discovered a booger the size of a tree trunk in my nose. UGH! Why didn't she tell me or hand me a tissue? No, she would rather look at a large green gellatnous worm, recoiling to strike out of my nose.

On another note, we are now installing mouse traps to rid ourselves of those pesky little rodents. Apparently, our cat has joined M.A. (Mouse Anonymouse) Either that, or she became Vegan without telling us.

Would You Like To Be Little Man's Cub Scout Den Leader?

Well, let me see when he was a Tiger Cub, the answer was no. When he was a Wolf Cub, the answer was NO! Now, that he is a Bear Cub, the answer would be.... um let me see....oh, I don't know, maybe.... um... Are you F'ing Deaf? NO!

I will not be bullied into this job. I understand I am the only candidate. But let me put it to you this way. If Bill Clinton was able to run again and did so unchallenged, I would write in Donald Duck! O.K.

I do not have the time, nor the patients to do the job. Hell, I can bearly get Little Man to half of the meetings, and monthly events as it is. How the heck, am I supposed to plan and hold a monthly meeting, be part of the planning/leader commity (oh, by the way, we need a treasurer for this can you just do that too, we already have jobs commity), take vacation time I don't have to spend time with far too many boys ( I don't like ) at camp, ect. Hey, at least I am honest.

I am already heavily medicated (because of my A.D.D.) just to make it through the day. How in the world will I ever be able to hold a den meeting at the end of a long work day, when my meds are nearly out of my system, without shoving somebody else's son's head in the toilet? Let me just say, I am quite sure the odds are greatly in favor of my having to explain why one of the sccout's hair is swirled into a point in the middle of his head. Not to mention the fact that my son will be being extra naughty because I am giving attention to someone other than him.

So, Akaela or whatever the "f" I am suppose to call you, if you are reading this.....

NO no, no-tittie no, NO. H NO, F NO, K.M.A. NO! What part of No don't you understand, no! Clean the friggin' wax out of your ears, NO! I don't give a shit that I am the only person for the job, the answer is still, no, NO! Nein, Nyet, Nadda, and if I knew it in more languages I would say it in those too, NO.

The saddest part of all is that if this guy (who is highly educated) were to read this, he would still ask me to do it yet again, and be mad at me because I said no, again.

The only thing I have yet to say him is this (and I never will, but I want to sooo badly.) Hey, I don't have a wife that I can push all of my parental responsabilities off on so I can be Mr. Big Dick Scout Leader, and Mr. Big Dick School Board Member, and Mr. Big Dick this and that, and what ever else other Mr. Big Dick Lawyers do to stay in the spotlight, rather than actually spending time in the parctice where they are the sole attorney who can create billable hours.

I know this for a fact, because my Foto Nut Mom is friends with this guy's wife. She takes care of 3 kids, and works 3, 12 hour shifts as an ER nurse a week, just so they can live in a hovel, and he can prance around with his fly open for the world to see. In my opinion, he would be a prime candidate for a Ledgend Maker in a map factory. You know the guy that needs to convince everyone that one inch equalls a mile!

In case anyone has yet to figure it out, the answer is still NO!

I Still Can Hardly Believe These Words!

Below is a cut and pasted email I received from the pastor I sent about 225 photos to, in order that he may create a stewardship brouchure for my church. I still tend to believe that my work is still precieved as "beginner" so when I get comments like these I always find myself thinking, I wonder what pictures they are looking at, because it certainly can't be mine. I am slowly and surely (and don't call me Shirley) beginging to realize I need to change my 'tude regarding my work. Baby Steps OK!



Foto Nut,

FedEx arrived this morning with an offering.

I just completed viewing the slide show.

I am awed and deeply moved by the artistic photographs put together in this beautiful slide show. God has given you an incredible eye to see, capture and present.

Well done!

I certainly hope we have a time to talk.

This goes beyond my expectation and challenges all of us to consider how best they can convey the message that we are “Stamped – Sealed – Delivered!”

Grace & Peace,

Pastor from MN

I'm A Dork!

Ok, get ready to laugh.

I was using my wireless telephone headset today. It has a range of about 300 feet or so. I needed to get up to attract the attention of someone else at the otherside of my floor. I planned to go halfway, and flag him down.

Now for those of you that don't yet know, I am six foot four inches tall, and not a feather weight at all. While I had been sitting at my desk, prior to my phone ringing, I had stretched myself out under my desk. I hate being folded up all day.

Anyway, back the the story at hand. I jumped up, to attract the attention of the aformentioned person, and made it about a step and a half before landing flat on my face. Apparently, while I was spread out like a week's wash under my desk, I had become ensnared by the dreaded and evil snakes that are my network cable, and my telephone cord. The stupid thing was that I hadn't realzide I'd broken the phone cord in two, and had contiuned to talk, the whole way down to the floor, and until I realized I had decapitated my phone from it's cord.

My cube walls are conected to my boss's. He came running around the corner to see if I was ok, and then says, "Dude, my computer shook ontop of my desk." Laughing uncontrolably, and the other person in his office, comes out laughing and says, yeah and he never missed a beat of that phone conversation either, evne though he ripped the cord out of the wall, and off of the phone.

Thanks guys, I love you too!

The only things bruised here were my pride, and my wrist. I am sure I will be ok, but it is already stiffening up, and will likely be painful in the morning. No swelling fortunately. Ain't it a bitch? At my age, when I wake up in the morning all the wrong things are stiff. LoL

Everybody Send Good Photography Vibes My Way!

I found a great studio down the street from my house, and just emailed the owner about trading sweat equity for technical experience. Now I just need her to email me back after viewing my work, and want to discuss with me further a relationship that could benefit us both.

All Out Of Ideas.....

Well folks, I am all out of ideas on this one. I had to pick Little Man up from school again today. On the whole, things have been very good. However, there are still big control issues. Contrary to what you all might thing, the least of these issues is his mother's death 2 years ago.

I can't tell you too much, but what I will say is that it is far better that he and Big Sister live with me, and it is something I wanted even while their mother was still alive. (Put 2 and 2 together, then add a whole bunch more bullshit you couldn't even begin to imagine, and that is what they were dealing with. Over and above, the death of my exwife.)

Little Man has been given the best of everything, trying to help him over this hump. He has had wonderful greif counselors, wonderful regular counselors, an EXCEPTIONAL Principal, and 3 Über Awesome teachers, and a Daddy that loves him more than anything in the world and wants nothing but the best for him and his sister. It pains me, to see him struggle and know that if we can not get these issues solved that he very well many have a hard hard life, filled with employement struggles and possably prison. Not to mention drug and alcohol abuse to ease the internal pain, which brings with it a whole other set of problems.

He has been on a wait list for 4.5 months for specialized counseling for this particular issue, and when I went to meet with the counselor he was assigned, it was obvious she wouldn't do at all. I have been in counseling most of my adult life, due to my A.D.D. among other things, and I can spot a bad, or for that matter a good counselor a mile away. Unfortunately, this counselor was the former, rather than the latter. When I spoke to the intake coordinator about my concerns, she agreed, and said that the person we had been assigned to was in intern. (What she didn't say spoke volumes, however, and told me she thought as I did, that this woman was incapable of helping my son.) Which means we are now back on the wait list. UGH! At least she put us at the top of the list for the next available staff counselor. I am thinking if it took us 4.5 months to get an intern how long will it take to get a staff counselor? Furthermore, things were nearly out of countrol 4.5 months ago, and they aren't improving, as you may have guessed.

I had a simply wonderful counselor who I started seeing me shortly after I became seperated from my ex-wife. It took several years, but she got me back on my feet again, and helped me grow into a man that I am truely proud of, to the point that I asked her if I even needed to see her anymore. She said if I hadn't asked her that soon she was going to suggest that I maybe didn't need to see her anymore.

Unfortunately, she doesn't jive with my employer's insurance. I called in a favor this afternoon, and she told me she would see us without insurance. I of course will have to pay a great deal out of pocket, but this is my son's future we are talking about here and I totally trust her, and I am not willing to give up on him EVER! I suggested that she maybe could see him at least until he could start with this other counselor from the wait list place, and she agreed. Yippy Skippy!

If this doesn't work, it looks like it will be alternative school for him. Which may be what he needs, and I have been holding him back from. I don't know, but I trust God will lead me on the path I need to take regarding Little Man.

I am almost in tears as I write this. It just kills me to see him in so much emotional pain. What people don't realise is that when you hurt a child it is the biggest ripple effect you could ever cause. It will not only effect that child but anyone that comes into contact with them long after they have become adults. That kind of ripple effect is why I am divorced, and the pain of that has rippled deep into my own side of the family also.

I had better stop before I type things I should keep to myself regarding this situation. Little Man needs all of your prayers for a long time. His figurative wounds may never totally heal, but I have to hope that God is "just" enough to help him over the lyon's share.

Ringling Bros. Circus

I took the kids to the Circus today. This was Little Man's first visit that he can say he remembers. He told me several times, "Dad, this Rocks!" I know the both had a great evening. Below you will find some of the 131 photos I chose, out of the 362 shots I took, to post process. I hope you enjoy these as much as we did the actual thing! 

Ringling Bros. Circus

 

Ringling Bros. Circus

 

Ringling Bros. Circus

 

Ringling Bros. Circus

 

Ringling Bros. Circus

 

Ringling Bros. Circus

 

Ringling Bros. Circus

 

Ringling Bros. Circus

 

Ringling Bros. Circus

 

Ringling Bros. Circus

 

Ringling Bros. Circus

 

HI~YEAH!, Farewell, Say Cheese, & Step Right Up

Well Karate started again this morning. Looks like this may be the last year. It is starting to get pretty hard, and Big Sister is definately not up to the task. Little Man could be if he practiced, but I don't think that will happen either. I have a hard enough time getting them to practice the piano. Which reminds me, they start their lessons again this week. That means Scouts is just around the corner for both of them too. Oh, the joys of the school year.

Tonight at 6pm I will be at the Choir CD Recording Party, now that we are done with Hell Week. As I said in my last post, it will also be a Farewell to are Director. :o( Then Sunday, we all get together after church to have their Staff Photographer (that would be me) take the group picture complete with ugly semi light blue robes. My last choir had deep burgundy robes with cream mantles. (very very classy I must say)

Then Sunday evening the kids and I will be headed to Kemper Arena for this years Ringling Bros. Circus. It will be painful for me because I can't take any zoom lenses.

That's A Wrap!

Well, we finished recording last night! We are all very pleased with the "Pre Mixed" results. What a great gift to be able to give to the community. Some will be sold, but just as many will be given to shut-ins. All of the money rasied will be given to out reach ministries, and scholarship funds. That is one of the benefits of being at a large church who's memebers are very wealthy. We don't want or struggle financially as most other churches do. Therefore, we are able to give away most of the money we raise.

It is actually the most incredable thing I have ever seen. Just recently, we were given the opportunity to complete the final phase of our organ built at a discount, because our builder is going to retire in 5 years. We had gone to great lengths to pick this guy in the first place, and brought him here from Germany to do the job in the first place. We needed to come up with at least 1/2 of the money, and the builder would loan us the other half over the next three years.

We started this big champainge to get pledges for the second half, and raise the first half of the money. We needed the first half in 3 months. In 2.5 weeks we had nearly 75% of the entire $250,000.00 donated. (Not pleadged) We are all excited to have the first half of the expantion completed in time for Christmas, and the final half in time for Easter. Our fulltime (paid) Organist can already make it do remarkable things, I can't wait to hear him play when it is done!

Ok, that was the good news. The bad news is that Our Director of 4 years is leaving at the end of the month. She announced in tears last night that she would be leaving and it was the hardest choice she has ever made. We are all sad to see her go. I believe the real reason she chose to leave was because she just had her second child about 6 months ago, and her position is very demanding. We have 12 or 13 different music groups, from children to adult choirs, a full time Organist, several Volenteer Directors, Handbells, Harpests, Strings, Soloists, leturgical dancers, Chancle Drama, Chirstmas and Easter programs for children and adults, and a contracted subgroup of the Kansas City Symphony complete with Timponist. Not to mention the big recording project we are currently in the middle of. So, it is understandable that she would need to slow down a little with two little ones at home. I am friends with her husband and know that he is a wonderful husband and father who helps out. However, he too is very involved in the music program as a volenteer. I am sure it is a hard nut for them.

I am confident we will find yet another capable director, but that takes time. Further more it is very hard to find someone in the middle of a school year. I am doubtfull we will be able to do so before Christmas, and maybe not even Easter. We have several of the volenteer directors, who I am sure will step up to the task. Many of our Choir members are music teachers and choir directors in schools, so it shouldn't be a problem.

Once again I find myself writing until the very last minute before I have to get Little Man up and around, and myself showered and refreshed for the day to come. I would love to sit here and type half the day, and read the other half..... yeah wake up Tim your dreaming again.

get.up.from.the.chair.must. shower.....................................

Before Recording The First Half Of Our CD

When I got home last night I was totally:

Hot and Sweaty
Exausted
Horse
Unbelievably Uplifted and Filled with the Spirit!

We were able to listen to one of the numbers via the church's killer sound system. (The same system that recorded us.)

Everyone seemed pleased. Frankly, It totally ROCKED, in a church sorta way.

This morning Little Man was asking me about it and wanted to know if there were sound effects on the CD. When I asked him what he meant, he starts making the requisite rap background buzzes and spits, if you know what I mean. Then the kid starts laughing, uproariously his whole body shaking, and he can't stop. He calms down, looks at me makes the noises again and starts all over. What an Oooooofus!

As a side note:

Not being able, or wanting to access my blogs new address from work (or my flickr account) anymore really SUX! But I understand it is all for the best anyway.

A further side note:

Man I wish I could tell you what is about to go down at work. (Not with me, by me.) I don't want to have to do it, but when you are the boss it is part of the job. Let's just say the big brown smelly stuff is about to hit the fan BIG TIME. After which, it's not going to be really fun anymore. I have already said more than I should, and we all know what that gets you.

Time to get myself all wet and soapy. Oh, stop it! Now get back out of the gutter. LOL 

Before Recording The First Half Of Our CD

 

Before Recording The First Half Of Our CD

 

Testing (tap tap tap) 1..2..3

Tonight and tomrrow night there will be a lule in the upsearge of postings. My choir will be recording our CD, and I will not be home till late. The mics are soooo super sencitive that we have to wait until late before we start so that they don't pick up the traffic noises outside. Not to mention we will not be able to have the AC running for the same reason. (whewh)

Ok, Roll Call...

If you got my email and are checking to see if you were able to find the site, please comment so I know you found me.

If clicking on the comment section gets you no where, try "right" clicking it and then clicking open in a new window.

Sorry for all the cloak and dager bullshit. If I weren't such an airhead we wouldn't have to be doing this. In case you are all wondering. I stupidly showed my photoblog link to a friend at work several months ago, then forgot all about it.

As it turns out, he linked back to my Blog blog, and has been reading it from work ever since. Since I also accessed my blog from work, I never noticed the stat counter info as odd. Everything was fine until I made those comments about wanting to be my own nude male model for artsy fartsy photos.

I meant it to be tounge in cheak, and for it to be very funny. I don't care that all of my readers here know that. You have either found your way here via the internet, or are a friend of mine which I have knowingly invited, all of whom I would say the things I say here right to your face. Unfortunately, I didn't realize I had been saying them to one of my "supposed" friends at work. This "supposed" friend thought it really funny to broadcast this post to God knows how many people at work, including one of my employees. They all got a big laugh, but not the kind I intended.

I told one of my blog friends on the phone tonight, I just keep forgetting that every thing I write is out there for the world to see. Well, with there help, I have now fixed it so the world will no longer be able to view this blog, or Google it in any way.

Just like one of my counselors said about A.D.H.D., "If it's a thought, it's a word!" I have spent my life like that. As an adult, I have been fairly good at minding my p's and q's, until the last few days that is. I guess I will just chalk this one up to a humbling lesson learned and let it be done.

Labor Day Outing - Kansas City, MO Skyline

You couldn't have ordered a more perfect day from God himself, today. I have been promising the kids to take them to Science City forever, and today the begging just wouldn't stop, so off we went. BTW, the green building to the right with the silver stripe is where I work. I am on the 23rd floor, and my office window faces the taller gray building to the left. 

Labor Day Outing - Union Station

 

Labor Day Outing - Union Station

 

Labor Day Outing - Union Station

 

Labor Day Outing - Union Station

 

Labor Day Outing

 

Labor Day Outing

 

Comment Turned Post

Ok, I started to comment on a comment to my last post from Greekchickie, then realized it was starting to turn into a post.

This comment in is regards to....

"Just be real about who you are. There's nothing more disappointing than finding out that the person you were talking to all this time is not the person you are."

Ok, first, I get what you are saying about the no shirt thing. Probably the same thing I feel when I see a guy (who has no business going shirtless) going shirtless.

Disclaimer: Please take none of my words below personally. I am speaking in generalities only, and am not targeting anyone.

Now on to your comment. I don't understand how a professional looking portrait can put someone off. I would think that putting your best foot forward is something you want to do. To be VERY FRANK, when you said that you & your friends feel like you have no chance in hell with someone that posts a professional style protrait....Well, it just sounds like there are lots of self image issues at work there. Furthermore, I am looking for someone that is emotionally healthy enough where something like that will not bother them.

I also do not understand how my posting a "current" professional style portrait of myself is a missrepresentation of who I am, any more than a half blurry snapshot is a more acurrate one. I did meet someone online, who had posted a picture of herself that was ten years younger and about 125lbs lighter that her current self. That is a missrepresentation! She was so much different than what she looked like in the pictures she had shown me I walked right past her in the resturant. Frankly, it was a lie to show me pictures of her younger thinner self in hopes that I would over look the fact that she had lied about her looks. WRONG!

Now we get right back to me. If I post a current picture of myself, regardless of it being professionaly taken or a snapshot, & regardless of my current body type, it is still a true representation of who I am. When I meet a person face to face, they will see that I am the same as my current pictures and that I have not deceived them in any way. For me personally, when I see someone that has posted professional style portraits I think several things.

1. This person feels good about themselves and their body to show it in the best way they can.
2. They also care enough about their search for a mate to put their best self forward.
3. I also understand that professional shots are just that professional, and are not real life.

Finally, If I have gone to all of the effort to change my lifestyle and transform myself into a heathlier better looking me, then I will want to be with someone that shares those same values.

Here's A Thought....

I know, I know... You guys can't take two posts in one day from me. You will just have to suffer overload, and deal with it.


Anywho..... I am trying to be upbeat about this whole fitness thing. I know my chances are far better if I visualize myself already at my goal. (Truthfully, I am scared shitless that I will once again fail. But I am not going to think of anything negative. la la la la la la, I can't hear you butthead. If you don't have anything nice to think, don't think anything at all, dude.) Back to P.M.A. I am thinking, that once I have achived my goal, I will have a new problem. Yes, I will. You see, I will likely still be trying to find my soul mate on eHarmony.com. I have two options for sharing my photo's with potential matches. Option one is to share the photo with them, only after a predetermined time set by me. Right now, I have that set to hold off until we are ready to start emailing each other. Option two, is to let every Tammy, Michelle, and Carrie see my photos as soon as they receive me as a match.

I had told Greekchickie earlier today, that one of the reasons I am doing this is to open up the field of potential dates. Seeing how most woman won't look at you if you are a F.U.B. (Fat Ugly or Bald) Not to mention that I too am somewhat shallow when it comes to that. I know that most men are visual creatures. However, I got 10 extra doses, in the needs to be visually stimulated department. I can't help it, that is just the way God made me, and at least I am honest about it. For now that means that most of the women I find atractive, want nothing to do with me. Let me also say, I am not just all about looks either. First and foremost I am looking for a woman with brains. To me that is the most sexy thing about a woman. If she has that, and is reasonably attactive, I'm in. The main reason I am heading down the path to fitness is for a more healthy me. The secondary reason will be gaining a great body out of it, and lastly being able to date more.

Now, back to the whole picture thing. When I end up with the stellar body I of course will want to show it off, and change my profile pictures at eHarmony. I plan to have one head shot, and then some full body shots, all G Rated of course. (I might have to try and slip one with no shirt on, in hopes they will allow it.) Here is where the problem comes in. If I allow potential matches to see these shots right off, I will likely get more responces, however, will it be for the right reason?There in lies the rub.

I am sure most of you are thinking, hey big dummy get the body first, then worry about it. Well, I have A.D.H.D. and I can't help it. LOL I just wish I could snap my fingers and make it so. Deep down, I know I will appreciate it more, and it will likely make it easier to maintain if I do it the right way. Eating right, along with exercise. (go figure)

Blogger Doesn't Even Know Me Anymore

I got a comment today from Greekchickie that said she missed my writing. After almost a month of no activity, she is likely the only wannabe reader I have left. When I clicked my blogger link to create this post I had to sign in. Blogger didn't even remember me like it used to.

I am begining to wounder if maybe I am depressed, since I haven't even been taking as many pictures lately either. I am sure my job situation has a lot to do with it, and of course I can't say anything too particular about it for fear of the dooce. To add to that, I have some family issues putting a strain on me right now, as well. (Also something I won't discuss here, sorry.) All that mixed together makes for some pretty uncreative juices flowing inside of me.

There are several good things/changes in my life as of late that will hopefully turn things around.

1. I started going back to choir again. I was off for two years cause my kids couldn't behave long enough for me to sing.
2. My choir is recording a CD this week, and I will be doing the photography, and artwork for the cover.
3. I have also been asked to shoot for a brochure we are doing at church. I shot it last week and will deliver the CD to Pastor Joe after church this morning.
4. After a year of trying to get my health back in check, on my own steam unsuccessfully, I have joined 24 Hour Fitness. (3blocks from my house.) And will be starting with a personal trainer twice a week at the begining of Oct. He thinks we can reach my goals in about a year. (What are my goals you ask? Well, I want to go from being an overweight diabetic who is dependant on drugs to keep my sugar in check, to being a diabetic who is not only thin but cut, ripped, or any other word you can think of to say I want to be a twisted steal sex machine.) I also dream of being my own nude model for photographic purposes. I have lots of really cool ideas, that just don't work when you are a fatso. Plus the heavier you are the shorter your winky is, because of all the extra fat around it. If I am going to be showing it to the world, I want every inch I can muster out there. LOL (In case any of you wonder, I have never had any complaints.) All that to say, I hope that signing up for this will make my doctor not as pissed as she would have been when I see her at the end of this month. I guess I just need a champion to help me through the process and keep me on track. I just wish it was less expensive.

Who knows, I may even start to chronicle my ups and downs at the gym. I am sure there will be lots of people there I can right about, like the employees I met when I joined that have huge muscles and even larger ego problems. The guy that will be my trainer, however, is one cool dude! I also hope I will be able to write about all of the hotties that won't even look my way, that I will snub my nose at a year from now, because they are all witches! LOL If you don't talk to me as a fatso, then I don't talk to you when I am a twisted steal sex machine, so there.

Ok, If I don't stop now I will be late for church.