Queue Jepardy "Waiting Music"

Ok, I'm Freekin waiting again! But this time it won't be as hard. I was basically told I have a job, now I have to wait a week to be interviewed one last time to see exactually which of two jobs I will get. Either would be cool with me, cause they both me a big promotion and a raise. WOOO HOOO!

Ps. 3rd interview will likely be next Friday, Oct 5.

More when I know.....

Thurday Is Depends Day

Why? Well I am so excited I am going to wet myself. I can hardly wait. More and more things keep falling into place. Frankly, it is too much not be be supernaturally guided. Hopefully, I will have really great news between now and Monday or Tuesday. (If it even takes that long.)

Ugh!

I.CAN'T.STAND.IT!

see below

Are You All Sitting Down?

Good...

I wouldn't want anyone to fall over or faint when they read the next line.

I have a second interview, with a very big, very muckity muck boss who is like 4 levels above the job level I am applying for, AND he is flying in for the morning to interview me. (and a few others, I assume.)

I know I have said this several times over the last two years, but this time it couldn't be more true. (and it is more true this time by 10 fold than it ever has been before.) This one just feels right.

There are several reasons I think that.

1. Never once have I ever gotten the impression that I was NOT being told the whole truth, or that I was having smoke blown up my.... well you know.
2. I was told to always speak as though you already have the job, this time when doing so, I never got the impression that it made the interview uncomfortable.
3. This time I didn't have to call to find out if I had made the second interview cut because the deadline I had been given for a call back had long passed. (This time they called me when they said, and scheduled and interview with whom they said.)
4. This time I was interviewed for a position (that hit the internet boards shortly AFTER I interviewed.)
5. I applied for one job but was interviewed for a postion on the next level up.

While I have yet to be exteneded an offer, and still don't know how the second interveiw will go....I am going to say it agian. I just have a feeling about this one.

The last and most important reason I feel this way is because, I have been looking for a job for nearly 3 years now. I have always been a big prayer. I always pray that if God wants me to have the job that He would then give me the words to say to make it happen. Furthermore, I pray that His will be manifest in my life, even if it means not getting the job I am interviewing for currently.

I have tens of people praying for me on church prayer chains, and Internet prayer groups, et al. What strikes me most about this one is that I didn't find this job, It found me! Not to mention the fact that everything is going so smoothly, its almost scary. I have been wrong before, and if this is not the job God wants for me I won't get it. The cool part is that if that is the case the jobs I am interviewing for keep getting cooler and cooler. If I don't get this one I can't imagine what He has in store for me next!

What Did The English Book Say To The Math Book?

"Dude, You got problems!"

Makin' It Mine Series

Trailer Hitch Brake Light Attachment "RAM Tough, Baby!"


Rear Window Chrome Decal


D is for Deutchland (Germany) Bumper Sticker - Simply a must have on any car I own!

Never Toot Your Own Horn

Especially at 4:45 am in the morning! Ever since my new S.U.V. Thunder came to live with me he has had this really bad habit of blaring his horn, which just so happens to be attached to the factory installed anti-theft system built into the Key. The key itself also has the wireless door lock and panic button on it. Anyway, I have been trying to get an appointment with CARMAX to get it fixed because it has been causing me great embarrassment. Because it wasn't working I had to use the key. Furthermore, the key's computer anti-theft computer chip only works when the key is in the ignition. If you put 2 + 2 together what that means is everytime I opened the door the friggin alarm went off, until I got the key in and turned it.

It's not bad enough that people look at you in parking lots, like you have a screw loose because you can't even get into your own car without setting of the alarm that blares the big ass american horn until you get in. The worst part of all was that it also did it each morning when I opened by car door to got to the gym, at 4:45 am! I felt aweful about it every morning, and was getting pister by the minute because took leaving 3, yes 3 voicemail messages on 3 different days trying to get someone to call me back so I could make an appointment (They only do appointments.) then calling back to ask for a manager before I got an appointment for this morning. YEAH!!!!!

Appointment Time: 9:00am

I sat in a waiting room with two other customers and their well behaved 3 and 4 year olds (There is a God!). However, I couldn't read because the reason they were well behaved was there was a tape in the VCR. As a long time Dad, I know that if something is making children behave, DON'T F WITH IT!

11:00am customer #3 who had gotten there and hour after me, had the same SUV with the same problem as mine was leaving. I asked the guy what the status was on mine, he said he would check. When he came back later he told me they were finishing up paperwork now. Then at 11:30 the guy I checked Thunder in with comes out and says, "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't know you were waiting for your vehicle."

Now there's a shocker, since he checked me in, asked me if I was staying, then keyed it into the computer as such. The reason I know this is because I got a copy of the work order and bigger than shit across the top it has a huge X (Bolded no less) next to "Customer Waiting." Ok, ain't no thang. I just take my 2 new keys and go, right? WRONG!

The lock smith dude couldn't get the keys one of the keys programed so the guy with the short memory span had called the nearest Chrysler Dealer and I was to take it over right then and they would have someone who knew how to fix it take care of it. Ok, still ain't no thang. I was in an especially good mood today for some reason, the weather was nice the sun roof was open and Beathoven was Blasting on my Infinity Sound System. Not to mention I wasn't paying for any of this which made me happier still.

I get to the Chrysler Dealer, they take me right away. No sooner does my cushy ass hit the chair than Mr Happy Pants Customer Service Intake Guy comes to tell me the key dealie is fixed but they found an item which needed to be fixed due to recall. I was pleasantly told that it would take less than 30 minutes to fix and it would prevent me from being stalled out on the road somewhere. "Cool, Thanks!" I said.

I was drinking coffee, something I normally don't do, but I was very hungry by this point, and had already called my Fotonut Mom and told her I was coming to pick her up and take her to lunch at Panera Bread Co. I was half a cup down and just nicely getting settled into my Dilbert Comic when Mr. Happy Pants is back, except I neither saw or heard him approach. He was right next to me when he cheerfully says, "Ok, Mr. Fotonut, All done for you." HOLY SHIT! I jumped out of my skin and had to pick cealing tiles out of my hair. He appologized, but were both laughing 'cause it was freekin funny.

Ok, by this point I was ready eat the uphostery in the car. I called my Fotonut Mom and told her I was on my way. We had a nice lunch together and the food was good.

Now I am very happy because I know I won't be waking up my elderly neighbors every morning with that Blasting Horn. I called again to say I was sorry, and that it was now fixed. She was sweet and said it hadn't bothered them, but I know better. My parents go to visit with them every couple of days because they never had any children and they don't have any other living relatives. She has told my parents that she has an aweful time sleeping, and often gets only a few hours, all right about the time I get in my car to go to the gym. She said, "I must have gotten used to it already because I slept till 6:30 this morning. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I don't got to the gym on Wednesdays. Oh well, its fixed now and I had a fun day taking my Fotonut Mom out to lunch, and picking up my kids from school as a suprise instead Fotonut Mom having to do it.

BTW, my Fotonut Mom turns 65 tomorrow, or today if you are reading this on the 21st.

Happy Birthday Fotonut Mom!

The One Trip Where You Should Pack Light OR Can Ya Hook a Sistah Up?

Many times on this blog you have heard me praise eHarmony for it's wonderful service. I believe it to be the best dating website going. For the simple reason, you get to "Pre Qualify" all of your matches. Furthermore, you are only matched with the top two percent of people that are compatable with your personality. That means you are just sifting through the cream at the top. How much better then casting a wide net at a bar, or worse yet one of those other "Meatmarket" type sights where people match themselves. YUCK!

That said, you can't just sip at the cream without checking to see if it has curtled first. That's why eHarmony is "All that, and more!" It allows you to sniff about to see if things are as they should be before you guzzle the whole damn glass. For instance, last week I was matched with someone I know I had been matched with before (Based on the photo.) I went back in the archives of my "Closed Matches" sorted by name and found that I had indeed been matched with her before AND she had closed me out. This time, however, she wanted to go again.
One of the newer features is that you can request a "Fast Track." All that means is go cut right to the chase with email rather than using the quided communication I love so much. This time I chose Fast Track, and in my first email said, "Hey do you remember we have already been matched, and that you closed me once before?" She said she had, but it was likely that she had closed me because she had met someone.

First off, when you close someone you must select a reason from a list of about 20, this reason is then sent to the match. One of the reasons is, "I am pursuing another match at this time." When she closed me she had chosen "Other." That ususally means they think you are a nutbag or a FUB, "Fat Ugly or Bald." Against my better judgement I agreed to talk to her on the phone. I told her I am a night owl and it was ok for her to call late. She called me at 11:15! I was still up, but I figured late meant before 10:00, so sue me.

Anyway, She starts to tell me that she has been dating lots of guys on eHarmony, and the most recent one was a 50 year old bachelor that she dated for a year. I am thinking to myself, I care about this because……. Then she tells me that she thought in the beginning that it would likely not work out but she went ahead anyway. Then she fell in love but realized that it just wasn't going to work, even though she really really REALLY loved him. Then you know what she did? She started crying! Do they make emotional wheelchairs cause this emotional cripple sure the hell needed one!

I was trying to change the subject so I asked where she worked. BIG MISTAKE! She is currently inbetween jobs. I tried to reasure her, but there was something wrong with everything I said, and of course absolutely no of it was her fault, and she had no control over any of it. She starts to cry AGAIN!, because she has just moved into a new place and now she can't pay the rent. I said, "Well, there is always welfare to tide you over. It wouldn't be a permanent thing and at least you wouldn't get kicked out of your house." She very curtly, through more tears said, "Well, you don't have to be the one to go stand in line, you have no idea what that's like!" Then the damn broke and there were crockadile tears everywhere. I very diplomatically and softly said, "Actually, I do know what that's like. I have to go and stand in line with drunks, druggies, and slackers down at the Social Security Office all of the time. It's not fun, and very embarrassing the way I am treated because my children's mother died. However, I have to do it because without that money, I wouldn't be able to keep myself solvent."

Then she starts in with how she still isn't quite sure if she wants to continue the match now that she has found out my children and I live with my parents. (Which I might add, I told her prior to her calling me in the first place.) I know that what she was doing was lying to herself about why this wouldn't work out because A) She was looking for a Sugar Daddy and can't admit that. B) Weather she knows it on a conscious level or not, she realizes I have my $h!+ together big time and she doesn't. C) She saw that I wasn't going to let her blame everyone but herself for her problems. She wanted a pitty party, and a Knight in shining armour to come with bags of money to rescue her and her girls.

Well, the reason I have bags of money is because I suffer through the lines at Social Security. Not a day goes by that I don't look for a job on-line, even though I think I may have a sure thing here in the next couple of weeks. Yadda Yadda Yadda Badda Bing Badda Boon!
I guess what I am saying to anyone out there that happens by my blog, and who is currently looking for someone to spend their life with. PLEASE OH PLEASE, unpack your bags before you start looking for a mate. The match I just told you about is only going to find someone that is willing to use her some more, because deep down that's what she wants, a reason for her pain as long as it isn't here's.

To be honest I feel much empathy for the woman, because many years ago, I was in the same place she was emotionally. I have sympathy for her girls because they are children and will suffer because of their Mother's emotionals state. Hopefully, not at the hand of some jerk that she finds to take care of her just so he can abuse all three of them. God, I pray that doesn't happen! I do not, however, have on ounce of sympathy for her. No, I'm not an Orge. Because I was there myself, I know they only way she is every going to stop suffering is to realize it is she who is causing her own pain, and she alone has the control to change her life. I said a prayer for her, and her girls after I hung up. Saturday just after lunch I logged in and closed the match. The reasons I gave (all true) mind you are 1) There is too much physical distance between us. 2) Other. I really hate "Other." I don't like it when people use it on me, and I hate even more having to use it on someone else. However, the reason I have would have fallen on deaf ears. She would have gotten mad, told me I didn't know what the hell I was talking about and cried even more. Then adding, well I am not confortable with the fact that you live with your parents. Once again, lying to herself about the real issues at hand.

Ok that was one Sistah, trying to get a hook up. Next I will tell you about a REAL Sistah trying to get me to hook her up.

Big Sister's Bus Driver is getting married. She called me because Big Sister told her I take really good pictures. Wanted to know if I would shoot her wedding in April. I told her that I am not good enough yet, but by then I may be a second shooter for a guy that does weddings, so it would he his price list I would need to call her back with. I then said, if that doesn't work out I could recommend several very good photographers to her. It got real quite, "Oh, ok she said."
Every time someone approaches me about wedding pictures it always ends the same way. I tell them I don't but could recommend someone. The next question is always, well how much do they charge? Before I tell them I explain that you get what you pay for when it comes to photographers, and that the ones I would recommend charge the going rate that starts about $1,500 to $2,000 plus prints. Albums start in the $500 to $1,000 range, over and above the wedding fee. The response is always the same. Oh, I can't afford that much I was hoping to get some one for less than $300.

Sorry, I am not your man. I takes about 40 hours of time after you shoot a wedding just for post processing. I am not going to spend 6 hours at the wedding and another 40 hours afterwards for $300.00.

This Bruthah is all good by hisownbadself! Thank you very much.

KC Wizards 3 Columbus Crew 2

A great time was had by all. I foolishly left my extra battery at home, and nearly ran out of juice while shooting. I would have too, had I not noticed the shortage. Here are some of the shots I got. 45 more can be seen on my Flickr Stream. Then there are also another 100 or so that didn't make the Flickr cut, but live on my hard drive.

Be certain to read the post below as well. I wrote it late Friday.

Comment Turned Post

Stacy the Peanut Queen and posted about an ill fated bicycle ride from her youth. Originally I started to relate a similar story from my childhood, but soon realized it was quickly becoming less of a comment, and more and more like a post with every key stroke. So I copied it, and pasted into MS Word, where I completed it, and then copied and pasted it again into Blogger. The results of my comment gone post are below.

On second thought, you may wish to visit Stacy the Peanut Queen’s Blog and read her post first. I don’t mind, I can wait……….

I too took an ass over teakettle ride on my bike, only my sorry ass went all the way 'round. I had a paper route in the small town we lived in and it was still summer hot even though school had already started. I had this sorry dark purple man's touring 3 speed type bike, except it was so old school it didn't even have the 3 speed part.

It was bad enough I had to ride this piece of shit bike but it was even worse that everyone in town knew me ‘cause my Fotonut Dad was the principal, add that to the fact all the kids beat me up every GD day, but worst of all was the fact that my Fotonut Dad had ghetto rigged a blue plastic milk crate he had stolen from school with some found aluminum as supports to hold it up off the front fender, complete with binder twine. Yeah I said binder twine; he should have just got me a shirt that said RETARD in big letters on the front and made me wear that while I delivered papers.

Anyway, I had just picked up all my papers and gotten them in the blue RETARD milk crate for the maiden voyage into town. There were so many damn papers that their weight bent the front fender down because the aluminum supports my rocket scientist Fotonut Dad rigged up were no stronger that toilet tissue in a rain storm. It rubbed and rubbed against the tire. It was like I was trying to wade in jello with a 500 pound bag on my shoulders. I called my Fotonut Dad from the gas station where I picked up my papers and told him. He says, “Just ride it, that’s what I’d have to do!” and hung up.

I made it across the highway, and started into town, past the police station, past the court house. All the while standing up, and using my full weight to pump the peddles on that sorry ass purple bike with the blue RETARD milk crate rigged to it with the aluminum toilet tissue supports as the front fender bent further into the front tire . With each rotation of the peddle I hated my Fotonut Dad more than I had the previous one. “Just ride it, that’s what I’d have to do,” he said.

I was wearing jeans and a cotton Baseball T-shirt with dark blue sleeves pushed up and I was starting to sweat as I road so slowly towards town that I could hardly keep my balance, weaving left and then right. Then right in front of the grocery store the weight of the news papers buckled the aluminum toilet tissue supports and they, the blue RETARD milk crate, and the binder twine went strait into the spokes of my front wheel. The next thing I knew, my 13 year old six foot tall skinny as a rail body was 5 feet off the ground and upside down. The world stopped rotating everything suspended midair before all of the papers in my blue RETARD milk crate came out, opened up and every effen page of every effen Grand Rapids Free Press separated and blew all the eff over highway 7, just seconds before I landed head first in the parking lot, and that purple bitch of mine, complete with blue RETARD milk crate, mangled toilet tissue aluminum, and sorry ass binder twine came crashing down on top of me. The entire time, which seemed to take 3 hours, that I rotated my sorry ass around in the air, Grand Rapids Free Presses aloft, I kept thinking I effen hate you Fotonut Dad!, I effen hate you!

Luckily, I had not injured my precious bean bags, broken any teeth, bloodied my nose, or cracked any ribs. I sure the effe got scraped the hell up though. Gravel shoulders and concrete parking lots make for a bitch of a road rash. All the wind was knocked from my lungs; I was fighting to breathe again as pain seared through my chest. My stomach felt like heaving, but that could have had more to do with the three candy bars I had consumed just minutes before. Any exposed skin I had stung, my face my hands and arms. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I felt a rush of wind fill my collapsed lungs, and the pain in them subsided. Again I gulped more air deep into my lungs and more tears gushed from my eyes until I could see nothing.

I heard the voice it was the voice of the dirty rat bastard of a Fotonut Dad that had told me to “Just Ride it, that’s what I would have to do.” said, “Are you ok?” He had hung up and driven from school in his pick up to get me and run my route with me. You’re a little too late, Fotonut Dad. I still couldn’t talk. I wanted to hurl, everything hurt, I moaned and cried. He picked the purple beast with the blue RETARD milk crate head and aluminum and binder twine fangs off of me. Then he picked me up. Even at 13 I was already as tall as him. I wiped my tears, as they flooded my eyes, with the back of my scraped up hands and the salt in them stung in the rash. As my vision cleared all I could see were hundreds of individual pages of the Grand Rapids Free Press whirling in a big ball shaped circle over the highway as the cars whizzed by spreading them further and tarring them to shreds. I croaked, through my tears, “Oh no!, my papers.” My Fotonut Dad said, “It’s ok, I will call your boss and tell him what happened.” All I see was white hot hatred, all I could hear was, “Just ride it, that’s what I’d have to do.” And I thought again, on how I hated him so.

I hated him for the purple piece of shit bike he gave me when he took my Über cool yellow with a black banana seat bike with the fat black skid tire on the back to give to my little brother, and the blue RETARD milk crate, the aluminum toilet tissue supports, and the dangly ass orange yellow binder twine. But I also hated that small dog shit town. I hated that my Fotonut Dad, was the principal in that small dog shit town. I hated that everyone in that small dog shit town would know by morning. I hated that the accounts of that afternoon would only make my daily beatings worse, and the bullies laughter louder.

I hated being 13. I hated being the tallest kid in my class, who was twice as tall as his teacher. I hated the deep loneliness of not having one single friend to talk to. I hated that when my little brother got picked on and I tried to help I got the shit kicked out of me too, and again the laughter. I hated that all of the girls that I fantasized about called me names and pushed me. I hated that even though they did that I still fantasized about them. I hated feeling the hot knives in my stomach pierce me as I was teased. I hated God. I hated my life, but the person I hated most of all, even more than my dirty rat bastard Fotonut Dad, who had said, ”Just ride it, that’s what I’d have to do,” the person who I hated, the person who I detested and despised most of all in the whole world was ME.

Gutter Monkeys, Child Eaters, and Job Interviews

Thing 1. Ok, all you GUTTER MONKEYS out there. I have posted a comment in the previous post's comment section regarding the meaning of a certain German Word if you have yet to look.

Thing 2. I sent a link to my blog to a very dear friend so she could see a picture of Thunder, the artist formerly known as S.U.V., and she said, "Hey, why did you go and change your picture? Change it back you look all evil like you are going to eat your children or something." SO....... I guess I will be changing my picture. I really don't want to put the last one up again, although I did like it alot. I had intended to take another photo last night but 7th grade homework got in the way, and then tired got in the way. So I will be changing it because I don't want to get a rep as a child eater. I just don't know when I will get another chance to take another Self Portrait.

Thing 3. My interview went very well. Remember I said, I hoped for something? Well, that something happened. However, it is still not over, and there are still many factors that have yet to play out. I am pretty certain, I will end up with a job, it is just a matter of which job, and will it be the one I want? (secret code for promotion) I am supposed to know in about two weeks if I am to have a second interview with the person who would be my bosses boss, should I get the job (secret code word promotion) that I want. But again, that all depends on several things that neither I or the recruiter have control of.

I know the recruiter because he has helped me fill several of my open positions over the years. I like him, he likes me (we're all one big family...) and I feel that he was very sincere durring the interview. Which all boils down to this.....

IT IS NOW UP TO GOD! If I am supposed to get this job, then I will. I can't sit and make myself nuts over it. (Yeah right, I have ADHD, telling me not to get all worked up about it is like telling the Niagra Falls to turn off.)

A Few Of My Favorite Things

I thought I would list a few of my all time favorite German words.

8. Aufgepufft (owf geh poofT) Car exaust
7. Puppen (poopin') Puppets or dolls
6. Puppenhaus (Poopin' house) doll house
5. Shitten (shitten) verb to pour
4. Bonnloch (bon lochk) literally "train hole" tunnel
3. Bustenhalter (boost en Haulter) literally "bust or boob holder" Bra. This is where the term Haltertop came from.
2. Zitspinkle (zits pink el) literally "sit tickle" found on bathroom signs with a little man peeing on a toilet with a red circle and line through it. Don't Piss On The Seat!

My All Time Most Favorite German Word Ever is the word for Vaseline.

1. Wienerschliden (veener shliden) Honest to God, it isn't a joke! Germans are very literal.

Moving Fast

Yesterday afternoon, I applied for a job within my company. (There are lots of things I dare not say about it yet.) However, I was called today, to be interviewed by the recruiter from Chicago. At this point I am too scared to even speculate what that could or may mean. I don't even want to tell you what I hope it may mean.

Alright, that was about as specific while still being cryptic as I dare get at this point. Hopefully, I will know more tomorrow afternoon.

I hate waiting. I am no good at it.

I am rollin' just fine though! LOL Man I love my new SUV.

UPDATE: The job is in Kansas City, we have a regional recruiter.

Rolling Thunder

As Promised:

Tonight at just after 10:00, me and my new SUV fresh from the very first drive home headed down to the Auto Body lot so we could show everyone how we now roll!

2004 Dodge Durango SLT 4WD 5.7L V8 Hemi

To answer Microchickies question if I were to name HIM, it would likely be Thunder, or Swartz Donner (Black Thunder).

WTF? I Bought A Truck!

Much to my frustration, I have been corrected many times, "It's not a truck, it's an SUV!" All I know is this:

1. It has 18 inch tires
2. It is built on a truck frame
3. It has AWD, 4WD and 4WD LO
4. It has a towing package complete with trailer hitch recepticle
5. The insurance company says it's a truck
6. Its so high off the ground you have to use a running board to get in

To me that all means its a truck. More imporantly it is "MY TRUCK!"

I quess it technically is an SUV, it's just easier to say truck.

Unfortunately, I don't have pictures yet, because it can't come live with me until Monday night. The lender wants it to haveVIN Specific insurance, and since they are loaning me the money they get to say when I take it home. Am I happy that my new baby is still in the Automotive OB ward? Heck no!

Since I don't yet have pictures, and may not get any until Tuesday because it could be dark when I get it home, I will tell you about it.

It is a jet black (grey plush interior) 2004 Dodge Durango SLT 4WD, with a 5.7 liter V8 Hemi. It seats 7 via a 3rd row fold flat seat. Premium Infinity Sound System, CD player, which turns the cabin into my own personal concert hall when I tune in the Classical Station. Wood grain dash, sun/moon roof, and power everything, Jacks all over the thing for portable DVD players and other things, not to mention that GAWD is it ever SEXY! I really would have loved Leather, which I think is the only option on on this "Truck" but the kids, more specifically Little Man, would have scraped and torn it to shreads in no time. I will just have to wait for my next one.

There are two trade offs for getting this "Truck." (All done at the spur of the momement.) a) I will have to wait for the camera gear I said I was about to order but for some reason had yet to do. b) Spend more at the gas station every week. I knew both of those things going in and I am ok with that.

Now that you feel all warm and fuzzy like I do about my new "Truck," you need to read the next post down, because it many ways it is ever cooler than this post.

Thank you all for letting me brag.

HOLY CRAP!

It never hurts to ask!

I just wanted to let everyone here know it pays to ask when it comes to taking your camera with you to large venue events. That said, I have asked several times for several different events, but it never did any good until now.

I am taking my kids to our first ever Kansas City Wizards Game so I went to their web site to see about bringing my camera. The discription of "Still Cameras and Cases" made me nervous.

I have a Canon 20D with a 24-105mm L glass lens. I didn't want some Barney Fife type Security Gaurd telling me I had to walk back to the car because I couldn't bring my camera in.

There was a place on their web site with contact email for questions so I sent the below email.

To whom it may concern,

My children and I will be attending a Wizards game for the first time ever on Sept 15th. Both of my children are very excited, especially my daughter for whom attending this game is part of her 13th birthday gift. I would like to bring my digital camera, and am concerned that I will not be allowed to bring it with me.

In your "Items Allowed" list you state

7. Still cameras and camera cases

Does that mean any still camera? I have a Canon 20D with a 24-105mm lens. I fear that when I get to the gate that I will not be allowed in with the camera because to the unknowledgeable person my camera looks like I will be able to get HUGE close ups but with a 105mm lens its doubtful. The thing is I have owned tiny point and shoots with a 300mm zoom but you would never know just by looking. What do I need to do to prevent having to walk my camera back to the car from the gate, and loose the ability to record my very excited daughter's first ever Wizards "Birthday Gift" Game?

Also, is there a time pre or post game where children will be allowed to meet the players and get autographs and pictures?

Thank you for your time. We look forward with anticipation to our first ever Wizards game.

The Fotonut

The KC Wizards office is right down the street from my house. My Dad had gone in and talked to the ticket guy and told him about Big Sister's Birthday, and he got FRONT ROW TICKETS.

I sent that email about two and a half weeks ago. Just the other day I realized I hadn't heard anything yet and figured I would just take my old point and shoot now owned by my very own Fotonut Mom.

Today, however, I get a call from some big muckity muck from the Wizards. He falls all over himself saying he is so sorry for not getting back to me sooner. He was just about to call me the day I sent the email and his phone rang. He realized today when he saw my old email that he had not yet called, but said we still have some time before the game so he was glad he was still able to reach me. He then goes on to say he has spoken to the head of security, who told him it is up to the idividual gaurd to make the determination on weather or not the camera is exceptable. (Wonderful, just great the run around again.)

Now I am thinking I'm sunk. Then the big muckity muck guy says, so what I will do for you is leave media credentials for you at the gate so you can go through Gate E, which is our media gate. sAHweet! SCORE!!!! (In case you haven't figured it out, Media credentials = A FREEKIN PRESS PASS!)I am glad I was on the phone that way he couldn't see me shaking.

Then I asked him what I needed to do to pick up the creds, he says, "Hey I will be doing some muckity muck stuff at gate D for that game. Here is my personal cell #. Call me and I will meet you, with your media creds outside gate D and personally walk you through gate E. Again, sAHAHweet! (At this point I am numb and have yet to completely grasp what this all means.)

I do believe it may have had alot to do with the "Way" in which I asked. (Thanks to my 11th grade English teacher, Miss Munger, who taught me how to write that type of letter!) The media creds and the fact that we have Front Row Tickets will make this a game to remember. (I also think that the Wizards who don't even have their own practice field are just small time enough that they still want the exposure.) I just hope with all this great media creds stuff that I don't DORK up the pictures.

Ok, now fast forward to about 5:15pm. All of a sudden my brain snaps back out of the numbness I have been experiencing all day long. My brain says to me, "Hey wait dork. Media Creds....Media Gate....Muckity Muck Escort...LIGHTBULB! I will bet you anything we get taken onto the field! Hey, wait....The Wizards Play at Arrowhead." (The Kansas City Chief's Stadium)

HOLY CRAP! (Fotonut raises his right hand) As God is my witness, if that man walks me and my children onto the field at Arrowhead, I will shit right where I stand! Now I REALLY hope I dont DORK up the pictures!

I'm Not Pissed anymore

But I still don't want to talk about it. Why? Well, it is something I have no control to change and if I talk about it I will just end up Pissed Pisster Pisstest again! Not a happy place for any of us to be.

I woke at 3am this morning with chills and never went back to sleep. Then like the dork dumbass that I am, I suited up and headed to the club at 4:45 am. When I got home I went back to bed because I felt like dried up dog shit. I overslept and nearly got Little Man to school late, because I was moving sooooo damn slowly. Not to mention the fact that when I woke him up and told him I had over slept because I was very ill and needed his help.....He Goes TOTALLY FREEKIN SKIN OFF YOUR FACE APE SHIT 3 HEADED FIRE BREATHING DRAGON MAD all over my ass because he missed his cartoons this morning, and because I expected him to take responsability for getting himself ready like any 10 year old should be able to do, and because I was standing over him to make sure he took his meds, and because (after careful inspection and mental cataloging of the entire contents of my kitchen) decided that the one FREEKIN thing we didn't have at the moment was exactly what he wanted to eat.

Then, he was pissed because I told him so sorry he was going to have to eat as school this morning, and that because he had effed around (I didn't really say that, cause I would never have said that to him when I still used that word, and I don't use it now.) so much that he was going to have to eat hot lunch too. Gasp and Horror! He only eats sack lunch from home (PB & J), so he freeks if he has to eat something for lunch that looks funny or has "stuff" on it, in it, of touching it. The worst thing is that if he doesn't eat, he is the grumpiest little asshole you have ever met. I called his teacher and after saying I was sorry about a 100 times, I asked if she would try and help him find something on the menu he would eat, and if she couldn't find anything she might have to make him a PB & J herself. She knows how he gets if he doesn't eat. (Ain't ADHD Grand?)

As it turns out, once he found out that he had crossed the Mighty Fotonut's boundries, and that shit don't fly here! And he heard me talking to the Nurse and his teacher on my cell in the car, he knew the jig was up and that he had no other option than to get his dick out of the dirt, suck it up, and act like the man he is, and has proven he can be.

He tried some stupid shit with his fotonut grandmother after school. What he then found out, and what I have known all the long, and can best be discribed in a quote from George W. Bush discribing what it was like to have his mother mad at him. He said, "I have been reprimanded by Barbara Bush, both as a child and as an adult (Pause, then very matter of factly) and it has never been a pleasant experience." (Then he grinned but it was a knowning grin and it told me that I never ever wanted to be reprimanded by Barbara Bush.) Which is exactly how I feel about my mother, cause when I get it from her I have it coming in spades.

I already plan to be a dumbass dork again tomorrow, if I wake up feeling less than stellar. However, the Little Man and I have had a heart to heart this evening. (Translation I talked, he listened without interuption because he realised to do so would have brought down a fate worse than death upon his soul.) I also explained to him that it very well may happen again tomorrow, and that the Mighty Fotonut had better not see a RE friggin PEAT of this morning!

At which point, with lip aquiver, he said he was sorry several times. I told him I loved him, and that both I and God had already forgiven him, and that the very best way he could show me he was sorry was to not let it happen again. (the dirty little ratbastard)

I'm Pissed Off Mightily.....

AND, I don't want to talk about it. Oh, I'll get over it, but that doesn't help much right now.

In Medical news today. I lost my Ritalin at work. No, I won't run out. (I am a bad boy and often forget to take it on the weekends so I have built up a stash.) That, however, is the least of my worries. I know how it happened and even where, but by the time I realised it, it was too late. In the grand plan of things loosing one's meds, "Ain't no thang!" However, most of you may not know that Ritalin is a class 2 narcotic. (Any of you ever heard of a little drug called speed?) Well, that's what Ritalin is, but only if you don't need it like I do. Since I take the generic kind the pill bottle says, "Anphetimine." It also says, "Do not sell or transport under penalty of law." SOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooo Because I work Down Town Kansas City, MO there are many homeless and other less desirable people in our building daily. Security keeps a lid on it but they still find their way in. That means my meds have either A) Already been consumed, or at least a portion there of or B) Sold for consumption by someone else. There were about 20 pills left in the bottle and they have a street value of about $5 each.

On the dating scene today. I got an email yesterday from the latest, and coolest thus far, match telling me that she has thought long and hard over the 3 day weekend, and realized she has been kidding herself that dating a man with school aged children would be ok. She has never had any, and has been unmarried for many years. She is wealthy and picks up at a moments notice to trot around the globe. While I would love to follow her, camera in hand. That kind of a relationship would never have worked until my kids were older. She very frankly said that she decided she didn't want to give up the lifestyle she had lead for so many years. You know what, "I DON'T FREEKIN BLAME HER! I WOULD LOVE HER LIFESTYLE." It also took a lot of guts to say that. I respect that she was able to tell me how she felt, and that she did it before I spent a load of cash on dinner! (lol) I was already becoming concerned by her late work hours, and had planned to discuss them with her when we met for dinner. Oh well. I already have another match who requested communication. I started that, and now wait to hear back from her.

BTW, in case any of you are wondering. I am still Mightily Pissed, and to quote my Fotonut brother, "And Gettin' Pister." And, I stil don't want to talk about it.