Will I Be Walking After Work Monday Night?

Well, that really DEPENDS, cause walking seems to be the shits. Yes friends and neighbors, while walking Sunday evening, just a fourth of a block from my house, I Fotonut, did there by solemnly shit my pants. Mind you, I didn't just load my drawers, I SHIT my pants. You know the diuretic industrial waste kinda shit.

In and of itself, it isn't abnormal for me to do so. I have done it many times as an adult, always when ill of course. As usual, it was at the most inopportune moment. The real crappy part of it was that I had voided my bowels with great splendor just prior to engaging on my newly self imposed evening walk.

How inopportune you may be wondering. Well, I live on 85 th Street. For those of you who are not familiar with Kansas City, MO, it is at 4 lane main drag, in a middle middle class, neatly manicured part of town. Even more inopportune was the fact that I was wearing a nicely pressed green and white button down shirt, suspenders, and tan pants. Now I couldn't see behind me and I was walking as quickly as a could to get home, but one can assume when one wears tan pants, and that same one shits one's self, that anyone driving by (and there were lots of those that time of day) would know instantaneously that the person walking quickly in a westerly direction, wearing tan pants had just had himself a major blowout of a shit in his britches. What they would not know, as I did, that not only had I shit myself, it was at that very moment dripping down my leg and all over my socks, newly purchase ankle weights, and shoes. Not just any shoes mind you, $100 New Balance 1008s.

The only thing I can say to all of this is that sometimes its just the shits to be me.