Toes!

Big Sister's 12th Birthday was the 26th of last month. Daddy, got her a pedicure. (She, like all other kids with A.D.D. chews her fingernails.)

We got there at 7:55 sharp, for our 8:00 appointment. As I was helping Big Sister out of her socks and shoes I notice that no one has cut her toenails for her in oh say, 3 months or more. Most of them looked like claws. I was truly emberrassed, because it looked like I don't take care of my child.

Well the very sweet lady who was Big Sister's pedicurist, was a very large lipped black woman. As she was clipping Big Sister's claws she was telling her about the process, and one of those Über Large Claws flew right in her mouth, and stuck to her large lower lip. I am her to tell you, I nearly blew chunks all over Big Sister, Very Sweet Pedicurist, the wirlpool tub, and the vibrating chair Big Sister was sitting in. Very Sweet Pedicurist, didn't miss a beat, she politely ducked down, and removed the errant claw, as if it never happened. Now one ever said a word about it. I am afraid if she had, I wouldn't have been able to contain my voluminous spew, and it would have been all she wrote. Nothing, I repeat nothing would have enabled me to keep those flood gates closed. It is taking everything I have right now just to type about it, 12 hours later.

In the end, the pedicure was a big hit, and Big Sister wanted to know if she could come back in a week or two to have it done again. What I wanted to say was, "Are you Effin Nuts! This little pleasure trip costed Daddy $65.00, and you want to come back once a week?" What I said was, "Big Sister, this is a special treat, maybe we can do it again some time, but not next week." Big Sister replied, "Oh...Ok, then." And that was it. (Thankfully, whew)