Late Night Fears of a Father

As I sit here listening to my tighty whities and other assorted bits of laundry spin in the dryer while I type I find myself fearful for the future, and what it holds.

From time to time I have posted that I have been interviewing for jobs. Well, there is a really good reason for it. The client that I and my staff are contracted to has decided not to renew, and given notice with an estimated end date of this time next year. You may be saying to yourself, why is he got his knickers in a twist, he has a whole year, for pete's sake? Well, in case you hadn't noticed the job market SUX! and has done so for quite some time.

Prior to being hired three years ago, for the job that I have now, I worked for a temp service. Not because I wanted to, but I had child support to pay. I was employed by them for 5 years, because I could not find full time work. After a while, it was made worse by the fact that I had been a temp for so long. The first question I always got was, "Why have you been a temp for so long?" The other wonderful thing about being a temp is no benefits. Oh yeah, they say they offer a benefits package, but it is only supplemental, and I takes almost a month's wages to pay for the stuff.

Anyway, I am getting off track here. The next reason that I need to be thinking about where my next job will be is because I am now in management. The higher up the latter you go, the less jobs there are to pick from, and the more specialized experience you need to even get an interview. At this level employers are not willing to take someone that has management experience from a completely different field than the one they are hiring for. In addition, there are only to games in town that specialize in my field of expertise and I work for one already, and have interviewed with the other several times with no luck.

It is extremely important that I have a job with medical benefits. Both I and my children need daily meds to function. For me that means staying employed, and for my son that means being kept from getting kicked out of school, and my daughter coherent enough to learn and grow. Which means that if I can not find something comparable or better than what I currently have I will have to go back to the bottom of the latter, which means a huge pay cut. When you aren't making the industry standard to begin with a big pay cut doesn't help in the least.

I know that I would be buying myself trouble by sitting around feeling sorry for myself and worrying about something that I have no control over. However, that is not what I am doing at this point. I am currently being realistic, and channeling my fear into motivation towards finding a new, and hopefully a better job.

The problem is that is not that long ago when I was the master of sitting around and worrying, and I have to be careful that I do not fall back into that mode. It is possible to be too desperate in an interview, you know. Right now, I am fighting with myself to stay put and let the process roll with an application I put in with the company that I am currently contracted to.

I believe I am perfect for the job. I meet all of the requirements set out in the online position post, and I have contacts/references within that company who are respected and willing to go to bat for me. I have already submitted my resume and now I wait. As you all know from previous posts that waiting is one of my strong suites, NOT!

Actually, I do have one other thing left to do, and that is to "Let go, and Let God" He has taken very good care of me so far, and I have no reason to believe He has any plans of stopping. Therefore, I need to sit back, pray for His will to be done, and the serenity I will need to wait for His plan for my life to be realized.