Friday's Nerdfest Extravaganza
Well folks, the Nerdfest Extravaganza (aka the Kansas City Skyliners Tall Club) held its annual national gathering this past weekend. This was the second function I attended. I had had such a great time at the first function I decided to join. (The annual dues are $25.) So membership fee in hand I trecked down town to the brand new Kansas City Power and Light District parked and walked 3 blocks to the Crowne Plaza Hotel. Since I had come straight from work, and it was 7:25pm, I was starving. I knew there would be drinking and dancing so I wanted to make sure I ate first anyway. (Keep in mind, I had been to the final planning meeting for this event the week prior so I knew there would be food there.) In the lobby I read that our function was to be held in room C of the downstairs lobby so I pad on the ultra plush carpet down the steps and find a sign that says Ballroom C on it. In the doorway is the checkin table, which is well lit but the rest of the room is very dark. By this time the "Party" has been underway for an hour.
As I walk into the dark room I see a cash bar with a tall Russian bartender, and four large round tables with very small candles in the center of each. Counting the two women at the checkin table there were an additional 5 people at the tables, all men sitting in the dark with no music playing stairing into space save the pair talking quietly at the farthest table. Around the corner from the tables was a small dance floor with a table along side holding a boom box wired to an iPod, but no food. I asked at the check in table about the food and was told the food will be served at the "After Party" begining at Midnight. Which by the way will be an additional $25.00 over and above the already large fee I had paid to get the door and gain access to the cash bar.
Well, for starters I was not planning on drinking for 5 hours on an empty stomach, that had already been empty for the previous 5 hours. Secondly, I had no earthly intention of walking the 3 blocks back to the Power and Light District to buy my dinner so I opted to eat in the hotel bar, which left me $25.00 poorer and I didn't even have a mixed drink. I will say, however, that the Shrimp Fetachini Alfredo I had was some of the best I have ever eaten so it wasn't a total bust.
I get back down stairs a bit after 8:00, so the party should be in full swing by now right? Wrong! One more woman had shown up and there was still no music, dancing, and or drinking going on yet. Just 5 tall nerdy guys stairing at each other in the dark, so I go to buy myself a drink. I say to Andreavj, " I will have a Burboun Manhattan please." To which he responded, "Sowry, I don know how you make dat, vat in it?" I explain the ingredience and their proportions. He then says, "Sowry, I only have da Burboun." I then asked for a list of the beer he had available and chose Heiniken. As I left him a tip he asked, "Please call me Andrew."
As I turned around my heart jumped as the woman I had hoped would be there walked into the room. We began to talk as she bought her own drink and the very non-dancable iPod music began to blast the speakers out of the boom box on the table. I was just about to ask for a dance when some of her tall friends she had met at the Chicago weekend showed up and swept her onto the dance floor. As she walked away from the table she looked at me and the woman next to me and said, "Well come on!" so we did.
We all danced to two undancable songs and started talking at the table again, and when I turned around she and her Chicago friends had disapeared. This left me with the woman I had danced with (a nice gal from Kansas City) and the 5 dorks still stairing at each other in the dark. We tried to continue our conversation which was nearly impossible as I am party deaf and the music was just so damn loud. By this time I was starting to get a little I don't know what. Mad wasn't really it. I had thought the woman who up and left had wanted me to come, and I had been looking forward to it, and now she was gone. I had just made up my mind that I should leave and I hear loud laughter coming in the door and turn to see the wandering travelers weaving back through the door with drinks in there hands.
To say they were smashed would have been a huge understatement. I stood up to say my goodbyes and she says, "Hey wanna dance?" so we danced one more undancable dance, and she hits the bar again, and some one starts making noises about a group picture so I figure there is no way I am getting out of here now. By the time that was finished I really NEEDED another beer. This was only my second of the night, but I am a good little German Boy so I always wait after I have had anything to drink before I get behind the the wheel, then realizing I had sealed my fate for at least another hour.
By this time there were only three sober people in the room Andrew the bartender, myself, and the woman I had been talking with. We were both discussing the enebriation levels of the rest of the group and the fact that she hadn't been a member for much more than a few functions. She, however, was signed up to work setting up for the after party along with miss life of the party who by this time was only still upright with assistance. About the only thing she could do for herself was pour more booze down the hatch, and by God she was doing that!
The person in charge, who was sloppy drunk herself, came over and said to the gal I was speaking with it was about time for her to start setting up the after party and asked if I would help since swizzle stick suzie, who was also suppose to help was certainly in no shape. I said I would help. Now mind you I had not paid the additional fees for the after party therefore would not be allowed to attend. (I likely could have but I had no intentions of staying until 3 or 4 in the morning.) All in all it was pretty rich to ask me when she knew I wasn't planning on attending.
About midnight people start knocking on the door to the suite. The secound knock brought the boys from Chicago who were holding up swizzle stick suzie whose toes they were literally dragging behind her. She was a pale green color, the same pale green of someone that was about to blow chunks all over the place. They get her in the suite sitting down and she slumps right over into the next chair. We ask her if she is ok, or if she needs to go to the bathroom and she insists that she is quite fine (face still planted into the next chair) God Damnit! I keep helping set out the food and playing door man while others filter in and seat themselves around her.
We were just finished setting things out when good ole suzie sits up bolt straight, greener than ever with her hand over her mouth. But doesn't move any further than that. The two boys from Chicago pick her up and drag her through the suite into the bathroom where she loudly hurls her cookies while calling out ralph and erle's names.
At this point I have decided things are just not going to get any better and that I can use the excuse that I haven't paid for this portion of the party so I can finally make my exit. As I am doing this, miss sloppy sally comes in and upon finding out that I am leaving chose to announce to everyone that I had just joined. She then found it a requirement to also tell me that she was glad she hadn't taken the time to pee because she would have missed her chance to say goodbye, even though she really had to pee really really badly. I was then given a very drunken round of applause at which time I made my exit. However, not before miss sloppy sally slobbered me with several wet kisses on the cheek. (Thank God it was just my cheek.)
I walked the 3 blocks back to my car and drove home. I undressed and flopped on my bed about 1:15 and went right to sleep.
I have come to the conclusion that I am way too damn old for this shit (I know I am only 42, but swizzle stick suzie is 44 and acting 24.) I have also come to the conclusion that I enjoy being single, and that it wouldn't be so very bad if I never found another woman who loves me. Especially if it means being yoked with a sicko, an emotional cripple, or a drunk. Going forward, I will just keep on doing my thing and if I happen to meet the woman of my dreams great, but if not even better!
As I walk into the dark room I see a cash bar with a tall Russian bartender, and four large round tables with very small candles in the center of each. Counting the two women at the checkin table there were an additional 5 people at the tables, all men sitting in the dark with no music playing stairing into space save the pair talking quietly at the farthest table. Around the corner from the tables was a small dance floor with a table along side holding a boom box wired to an iPod, but no food. I asked at the check in table about the food and was told the food will be served at the "After Party" begining at Midnight. Which by the way will be an additional $25.00 over and above the already large fee I had paid to get the door and gain access to the cash bar.
Well, for starters I was not planning on drinking for 5 hours on an empty stomach, that had already been empty for the previous 5 hours. Secondly, I had no earthly intention of walking the 3 blocks back to the Power and Light District to buy my dinner so I opted to eat in the hotel bar, which left me $25.00 poorer and I didn't even have a mixed drink. I will say, however, that the Shrimp Fetachini Alfredo I had was some of the best I have ever eaten so it wasn't a total bust.
I get back down stairs a bit after 8:00, so the party should be in full swing by now right? Wrong! One more woman had shown up and there was still no music, dancing, and or drinking going on yet. Just 5 tall nerdy guys stairing at each other in the dark, so I go to buy myself a drink. I say to Andreavj, " I will have a Burboun Manhattan please." To which he responded, "Sowry, I don know how you make dat, vat in it?" I explain the ingredience and their proportions. He then says, "Sowry, I only have da Burboun." I then asked for a list of the beer he had available and chose Heiniken. As I left him a tip he asked, "Please call me Andrew."
As I turned around my heart jumped as the woman I had hoped would be there walked into the room. We began to talk as she bought her own drink and the very non-dancable iPod music began to blast the speakers out of the boom box on the table. I was just about to ask for a dance when some of her tall friends she had met at the Chicago weekend showed up and swept her onto the dance floor. As she walked away from the table she looked at me and the woman next to me and said, "Well come on!" so we did.
We all danced to two undancable songs and started talking at the table again, and when I turned around she and her Chicago friends had disapeared. This left me with the woman I had danced with (a nice gal from Kansas City) and the 5 dorks still stairing at each other in the dark. We tried to continue our conversation which was nearly impossible as I am party deaf and the music was just so damn loud. By this time I was starting to get a little I don't know what. Mad wasn't really it. I had thought the woman who up and left had wanted me to come, and I had been looking forward to it, and now she was gone. I had just made up my mind that I should leave and I hear loud laughter coming in the door and turn to see the wandering travelers weaving back through the door with drinks in there hands.
To say they were smashed would have been a huge understatement. I stood up to say my goodbyes and she says, "Hey wanna dance?" so we danced one more undancable dance, and she hits the bar again, and some one starts making noises about a group picture so I figure there is no way I am getting out of here now. By the time that was finished I really NEEDED another beer. This was only my second of the night, but I am a good little German Boy so I always wait after I have had anything to drink before I get behind the the wheel, then realizing I had sealed my fate for at least another hour.
By this time there were only three sober people in the room Andrew the bartender, myself, and the woman I had been talking with. We were both discussing the enebriation levels of the rest of the group and the fact that she hadn't been a member for much more than a few functions. She, however, was signed up to work setting up for the after party along with miss life of the party who by this time was only still upright with assistance. About the only thing she could do for herself was pour more booze down the hatch, and by God she was doing that!
The person in charge, who was sloppy drunk herself, came over and said to the gal I was speaking with it was about time for her to start setting up the after party and asked if I would help since swizzle stick suzie, who was also suppose to help was certainly in no shape. I said I would help. Now mind you I had not paid the additional fees for the after party therefore would not be allowed to attend. (I likely could have but I had no intentions of staying until 3 or 4 in the morning.) All in all it was pretty rich to ask me when she knew I wasn't planning on attending.
About midnight people start knocking on the door to the suite. The secound knock brought the boys from Chicago who were holding up swizzle stick suzie whose toes they were literally dragging behind her. She was a pale green color, the same pale green of someone that was about to blow chunks all over the place. They get her in the suite sitting down and she slumps right over into the next chair. We ask her if she is ok, or if she needs to go to the bathroom and she insists that she is quite fine (face still planted into the next chair) God Damnit! I keep helping set out the food and playing door man while others filter in and seat themselves around her.
We were just finished setting things out when good ole suzie sits up bolt straight, greener than ever with her hand over her mouth. But doesn't move any further than that. The two boys from Chicago pick her up and drag her through the suite into the bathroom where she loudly hurls her cookies while calling out ralph and erle's names.
At this point I have decided things are just not going to get any better and that I can use the excuse that I haven't paid for this portion of the party so I can finally make my exit. As I am doing this, miss sloppy sally comes in and upon finding out that I am leaving chose to announce to everyone that I had just joined. She then found it a requirement to also tell me that she was glad she hadn't taken the time to pee because she would have missed her chance to say goodbye, even though she really had to pee really really badly. I was then given a very drunken round of applause at which time I made my exit. However, not before miss sloppy sally slobbered me with several wet kisses on the cheek. (Thank God it was just my cheek.)
I walked the 3 blocks back to my car and drove home. I undressed and flopped on my bed about 1:15 and went right to sleep.
I have come to the conclusion that I am way too damn old for this shit (I know I am only 42, but swizzle stick suzie is 44 and acting 24.) I have also come to the conclusion that I enjoy being single, and that it wouldn't be so very bad if I never found another woman who loves me. Especially if it means being yoked with a sicko, an emotional cripple, or a drunk. Going forward, I will just keep on doing my thing and if I happen to meet the woman of my dreams great, but if not even better!
Written by Im A Foto Nut at 9/21/2008 06:16:00 pm
1 Comments:
Me and almost every married woman I know have pretty much vowed that (God forbid) anything happens to our husbands, we'd never marry again.
I think you're absolutely right in the way you feel....you just go forwards and if you happen upon the woman of your dreams, it was meant to be.
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